Prom pointers

DEAR READERS

» May is PROM MONTH. The excitement of graduation, summertime fun, freedom and friendship all combine for a festive celebration, a night of memories and a rite of passage. But what should always come first? Safety! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (www. cdc.gov) put out the following hints:

In the rush to get glamorous, there can be dangers. Tanning, crash diets, too-tight gowns, sky-high shoes and upto-the-minute skin and hair treatments can all end badly. A natural, fresh, healthy, conservative and pretty look is best.

Tell your teen: Have a plan. Make sure someone is available if an emergency arises. One obvious no-no: using drugs and alcohol.

Never ride in a car with someone who is drunk or high; going as a group and pitching in for a limousine is a safe option.

After-prom parties can be fun, but ensure you and your teen know exactly where the afterparty is, who is hosting it and what time the party ends. The school usually hosts an event; call to get details.

This is an exciting time of the year. Talking to your teen about safety will certainly elicit an eye-roll or two, but carry on.

HOW DO YOU HINT?

DEAR HELOISE » No doubt you receive hundreds of hints by email and mail, which I dutifully read. Do you have a particular selection criterion for determining which hints are suitable for printing?

— Richard W., Hedgesville, W.VA.

DEAR RICHARD W. » Richard, I love your question! We try to publish a variety of hints that will hopefully appeal to a broad range of people. We do receive hundreds of hints per week, and we pick the most popular, and seasonal, for publication. Thanks for your readership!

DEAR HELOISE » I’d like to remind your readers: Parking in the striped area next to an accessible (also called handicapped) parking space is not allowed. The striped area allows room for a van to lay out a ramp for a wheelchair to lift folks up and down.

You can be subject to a big fine, so please leave that space for people who need it.

— Randy W. in Indiana

DEAR HELOISE » I save mesh pouches from bagged onions, oranges, etc., and wrap them around sponges for more scrubbing power.

I smear petroleum jelly around the top of a tube of instant glue. The cap ALWAYS screws off again.

When I walk into a room and forget what I came in for, I walk back to the room I came from. Then I remember it! Works every time for me.

— C.H. in San Antonio

DEAR C.H. » A Heloise high-five for these hints!

DEAR ANNIE » My boyfriend’s mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s been really hard on him and his family. I’ve been trying to be there for him as best I can, but it seems like I’m always saying the wrong thing. The other day, he was talking about how difficult it is to think that there will eventually be a time when his mom can no longer remember his or his brothers’ names. I told him that was years down the road and to try not to think about it for now, to enjoy the quality time he can still spend with her. He snapped at me and told me he was allowed to think about it, that it was a reality he’s facing. What is the right thing to say in these situations?

— Hesitant but Wanting to Help

DEAR HESITANT » It’s not about saying the right thing. The fact is that this is extremely upsetting news for your boyfriend and his family, and there’s no combination of words that can make it all better. While I know that your wish to cheer him up comes from a place of love, it can come across as minimizing the pain — which adds insult to injury. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for a loved one is to simply sit with him in his pain and honor it.

You can also express your love by cooking meals, running errands or helping him out with any other practical aspects of everyday life that might fall to the wayside in the wake of this news. Ask him to always feel free to tell you what he needs from you, whether he’d like to hear reassurance or just wants to vent.

Lastly, you might encourage him to attend a support group. To find one in your area or to join a virtual support community, visit https:// www.alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups.