The Oneida Daily Dispatch (Oneida, NY)

Jet jealousy

- Send your questions for Annie Lane to

DEAR ANNIE >> I called a buddy of mine the other day. This is one of my best friends from college. I am trying to call my friends more.

We text every day but rarely get the chance to actually hear each other’s voices.

As we are getting caught up, we start talking about work. We both run our own businesses and often compare notes. He travels a lot for his work. I do not. He tells me that his company recently purchased a private jet. He downplayed it as much as possible, saying they co-owned it and that it was only an eight-seater.

I am happy for my friend. He has three kids. He took a big risk, and it worked. He married his college sweetheart. I love this guy with all my heart.

But when we hung up, I felt bad about myself. I felt as though I was lesser than because I did not have a private jet (I can hear your readers rolling their eyes right now).

I even looked up how much his jet cost ($2 mil) and started doing the math to see if I could justify it (I could not).

Anyway, I am legitimate­ly happy for my buddy, but private jets aside, why does his “success” make me feel bad?

— Begrudging­ly


DEAR BEGRUDGING­LY GROUNDED >> First off, I want to thank you for your letter. You did one of the most difficult things by admitting to having an uncomforta­ble feeling that every human being has experience­d and asked how to work on it. Kudos to the strength in being vulnerable. Of course it is natural to have mixed feelings when a colleague is more financiall­y successful at a time. Jealousy is a natural emotion. In this case, it comes from a lack mentality. The best way is to remind yourself that you can have all the abundance you want to create.

Remind yourself that comparison is the thief of joy. So catch yourself and let it go. The best way to do that is to take a step back and look at your life — the big picture. I’m sure you have lots to feel grateful about. The more we appreciate what we have, the more we get what we want out of life.

DEAR ANNIE >> This is for the woman who signed herself “Feeling Trapped.” Please keep this number for people who write in that they are in an abusive situation: National Domestic Violence Hotline 800799-7233.

They help every race, sexual orientatio­n and religion with resources such as shelters, protect orders, legal aid, counseling and so much more. Thank you! — DV Survivor and Advocate

DEAR SURVIVOR >> Thank you for sharing the hotline. We can’t print their number often enough.

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