Cue the tweeting shark; only GOP clowns on stage

Dana Milbank

“If you can’t take a joke,” Lindsey Graham has said, “don’t run for president.”

Graham, a senator from South Carolina and one of umpteen Republicans running for president, can take a joke — which is why he appreciates the absurdit y that is the GOP field. There are far too many candidates, and to gain attention, they are juggling and blowing slide whistles like so many painted performers emerging from a clown car.

There is little dignit y for Republicans as they try to break free of the very large flock — as Graham experienced Monday when he appeared on “CBS This Morning” to make what was billed as a “very important” announcement.

CBS evidently wasn’t impressed by the importance. Graham cooled his heels while the morning show reported on the Amtrak crash, trouble in Iraq, the Waco biker-gang fight, the “Mad Men” finale, daredevils killed in Yosemite, murders in Northwest Washington — and a great white shark who is on Twitter.

Only after those — and various breaks for local weather and traffic — did Graham get his moment. His very important announcement turned out to be that he was an- nouncing that he would make an announcement in two weeks.

Gayle King, one of the anchors, pointed out that there wasn’t a whole lot of mystery involved, because Graham had already said that there was a 99.9 percent chance he will run. “We offer you this beautiful platform,” King proposed.

“It is a beautiful platform, but it’s not as beautiful as central South Carolina, where I will make an announcement on June 1,” he said.

Another host, Charlie Rose, ignored this. “Are you running in part because you looked at the field and you don’t think they’re very sophisticated on foreign policy?”

Graham momentarily forgot his phony coyness. “I’m running because I think the world is falling apart,” he said.

Thus did Graham try his hand at the presidential announcement game, in which candidates pretend there is some intrigue about their intentions. Ted Cruz tried for his 15 minutes of fame by holding the first announcement. Marco Rubio drew thousands to Miami’s Freedom Tower. Mike Huckabee brought in aging crooner Tony Orlando. Ben Carson released a video putting the candidate in the company of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr.

Former New York Gov. George Pataki announced on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” that ... he will make his announcement Thursday. Donald Trump announced that he would make an announcement in June.

In the oversold Republican primary situation, a candidate is likeliest to get attention when there’s a screw-up, such as Jeb Bush’s five attempts to answer a simple question about Iraq.

Monday on CBS, King thought she had caught Graham in an outrage when she asked him what needed to be done in Iraq and Syria. “More,” Graham said. “Did you say ‘war’?” King asked.

“More,” Graham repeated. “More trainers, more advisers.”

Graham, who once joked that prisoners at Gitmo should be punished by being forced to listen to Republican candidates, is not going to get attention saying sensible things such as that.

In retrospect, you couldn’t blame CBS for going first to Mary Lee, the t weeting shark. Charles Krauthammer

Ramadi falls. The Iraqi army flees. The great 60-nation anti-Islamic State coalition so grandly proclaimed by the Obama administration is nowhere to be seen. Instead, it’s the defense minister of Iran who flies into Baghdad, while the U.S. air campaign proves futile and America’s alleged strategy for combating the Islamic State is in freefall.

It gets worse. The Gulf States’ top leaders, betrayed and bitter, ostentatiously boycott President Barack Obama’s failed Camp David summit.

We are scraping bottom. Following six years of Obama’s steady and