The Palm Beach Post

Reading husband’s records was a violation of the law

- Dear Abby

Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: “Concerned in Massachuse­tts” (Feb. 20) used her status as a hospital employee to access her husband’s medical records and found a history of STDs. I’m a registered nurse with 40 years’ experience. Every health care organizati­on I know of teaches all their employees about HIPAA violations and that accessing private patient medical informatio­n is a criminal offense. We have specific policies against using one’s employee status to access a relative’s medical informatio­n.

“Concerned” is lucky she still has a job. At my institutio­n, she would be terminated for violating organizati­onal policy and federal law. She wouldn’t have to worry about how to broach the subject with her husband; she’d be explaining why she was fired. He may not be a saint, but neither is she. Her actions were unacceptab­le and ref lect a clear lack of integrity and honesty. — Safeguardi­ng the Right to Privacy

Dear Safeguardi­ng: Thank you for your response. You are not the only reader who was appalled at what “Concerned” had done. Read on:

Dear Abby: Like “Concerned’s” husband, I, too, am labeled as high risk for STDs based on a medical survey I completed, although I have had a monogamous 30-year marriage and do not do drugs of any kind. In that survey, they asked how many partners I had in my lifetime. Those few others were before I met my wife.

“Concerned” indicated that her husband had been treated twice for STDs “some years back.” What does that mean? Were they married then? If not, is he labeled high risk due to his previous behavior? Perhaps there is something deeper in the relationsh­ip that needs addressing — such as why there are weeks between sexual contact with her husband.

It’s ironic that she’s bent out of shape over infidelity concerns, but thinks it acceptable to betray the ethics rules governing medical profession­als. — Vincent in West Virginia

Dear Abby: “Young at Heart in Texas” (Feb. 9) could have written my story. I am also a 70-year-old man who is sexually dysfunctio­nal. I, too, was lonely, having outlived two of my brides. However, I did find someone who appreciate­s holding hands and whispering sweet words without more physical contact.

Abby, you said: “Not only do I think you can (find companions­hip), I suspect you may need police protection to control the crowd of applicants. Years ago, my aunt, the late Ann Landers, polled her female readers asking if they would prefer ‘holding and cuddling’ to actually doing ‘the deed.’ The majority of them answered in the affirmativ­e.”

My first wife died of a heart attack after 30 years of marriage. My second wife died after eight years of marriage, of kidney cancer. At 71, I married my third wife, a wonderful woman just as you both describe. She was my next-door neighbor. We have been married three years and nine months. We also enjoy cuddling, even without doing “the deed.”

So I say to “Young at Heart in Texas”: YES, you can find a woman such as you and Abby describe. And when you do, I suggest you rub her back often. Women love it! — Young at Heart in Colorado

Dear Young at Heart: I’m glad your story had a happy ending, and I’m crossing my fingers that “Young at Heart’s” will, too.

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