New tackle finds humor in height

6-9 Sterup can enjoy about anything but some roller coasters.

DAVIE — Zach Sterup, the newest Dolphin, was sitting at his locker when I approached to chat.

We saw eye to eye just perfectly.

Recordkeepers are searching far and wide to confirm whether a record was set in the minutes that followed, a reporter spotting a player 16 inches while still managing to conduct an interview without a bullhorn. Sterup, an offensive tackle, stands 6-feet-9, making him one of the tallest Dolphins ever. I’m listed at a Jakeem Grant-ish 5-5, making me a bug on Sterup’s windshield.

Here’s how it went:

HH: Did you notice the discrepancy between your height and mine?

ZS: Yeah. A little bit. Pretty subtle.

HH: Name one thing you think I can do that you can’t.

ZS: I can’t ride a lot of roller coasters and I really enjoyed them when I was kid. But there’s a place, Cedar Point in Ohio, that’s famous for its roller coasters and there’s probably 30 of them there and I could ride like six of them because I was too big.

HH: You show up at the Avis counter and all they have is a Ford Focus. How ugly does it get?

ZS: Not bad. Right now I’m driving a Nissan Altima and that works quite well. My first car — I was a sophomore in high school, so I was probably 6-6 at that time — it was a Toyota Camry. And I had that probably till I was 6-8. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing, obviously, but it was functional. I try to squeeze. Airplanes aren’t fun.

HH: Did you ever sit in the middle seat?

ZS: I try not to. Usually people are like, “Hey, man. Take my exit row.” And usually people understand when I check in, “Yeah, we’re going to either upgrade you or put you in a more comfortable seat.”

HH: They usually downgrade me. Hotel beds? Do you hate ’em?

ZS: I’ve never had a problem. Sometimes I have to sleep in socks in the winter with my feet off the bed. But that’s about it.

HH: You and I in a 110meter hurdles race. Who wins?

ZS: Are you going under ’em?

HH: Yeah. I go under, you go over. Who wins?

ZS: Uh, I’d say I’d probably win.

HH: How many times have you heard “How’s the weather up there?”

ZS: I get something every day, something smart that somebody thinks they’re the first person telling me it, that I’ve never heard it before. I’d say it’s an average of “How tall are you?” or “You’re tall” or “How’s the weather?” or something smart. Probably two or three times a day. It’s just part of my life, man.

HH: Age that you could dunk?

ZS: Sixteen. Even in high school I didn’t have leg strength. I was a skinny guy. I was 265 coming out of high school. I didn’t really work my lower body. So then I got to college and I put on a bunch of weight but I could jump higher. It’s weird how that works.

HH: How’s it feel to dunk a basketball? I wouldn’t know.

ZS: Oh, it’s just like a layup. It counts for two, right?

HH: Sometimes they say if you make more money, you should pay more taxes, that sort of thing. Would you be in favor of a tariff on pants that fit you vs. pants that fit me? Would that be fair?

ZS: Well, you know it’s a lot harder to find pants that fit me, I would say. Usually if I find something that fits, I buy it. No matter if it’s my style or not. Like, “Hey, it works. I can wear it. It’s comfortable. I’m getting it.” I’m not sure. I probably use a lot more fabric than you would. So you have a point. But at the same time, I don’t know.

HH: Your Cleveland Browns bio says, “Can change a light bulb without getting on a ladder.” Is that true?

ZS: Well, yeah, I can just reach up and change it. So that’s one thing that I could probably do that you can’t.

HH: Shaquille O’Neal once told me, “Big people are put

‘I get something every day. … I’d say it’s an average of, “How tall are you?” or “You’re tall” or “How’s the weather?” or something smart. Probably two or three times a day. It’s just part of my life, man.’ Zach Sterup

6-foot-9 offensive tackle

on this earth to do big things and little people are put on this earth to do little things.” He actually said this to me. I wanted to say, “Thanks, Shaq.” So what do you think of that?

ZS: Ah ...

HH: You won’t hurt my feelings.

ZS: I think it’s on an individual basis. You can do anything you want. So I’m not going to label you as a short person, tall person. You’re a person, you do what you want.

HH: So can I play right tackle?!

ZS: You can play right tackle. You might struggle a little bit more than a bigger guy would. Hey, sign you up.