Assisted living is the place for dad, daughter believes
Question: I think assisted living is where my father belongs now. Just before Christmas I visited him and I now question his competence. When he had to stop driving last year, I hired a part-time aide to take him to stores and appointments. He was capable of writing checks, so we agreed he’d pay her each week, although we did not put that in writing. During this visit I found she’s at his house almost every day. He’s paying her phone bill and car loan. The aide says it was my father’s idea, and he’s her employer, not me. When I told Dad he was being taken advantage of and suggested he move to assisted living, he laughed and insisted he’ll do whatever he wants with his money. Other than this he seems mentally
OK. What should I do to protect him? Does his durable power of attorney give me any authority? I’m his attorney-in-fact.
Answer: Assisted living communities are awash with inquiries this time of year as adult children visit parents and become concerned. There is usually no magic bullet for these situations, I’m afraid.
Your father’s durable power of attorney does not remove his right to manage his own financial affairs. If he’s competent, he can spend his money as he wishes, even if you find his decisions unwise. On the other hand, if he is truly incompetent – spending more money than he has, or Joseph Karp
The Karp Law Firm, P.A. endangering his welfare – you can petition the court to get a guardianship over him. But be warned: that is expensive, the courts are reluctant to remove anyone’s rights, and your relationship with him could deteriorate. A better approach for now would be enlisting his friends and/or relatives to discuss the situation with him, and if they agree with your observations, talk with him about assisted living situations. He may be more receptive to them than he is to you.
Also, you can report the situation to Florida’s Elder Abuse Hotline, 800-96-ABUSE. They will investigate and keep your name confidential – but don’t be surprised if your dad surmises that you were the complaining party.
Joseph Karp, a member of the Florida and New York Bars, is a Nationally and Florida Bar Certified Elder Law Attorney and founder of The Karp Law Firm, located in Palm Beach and St. Lucie counties. The firm assists clients with wills, trusts, Medicaid and VA benefits planning, special needs planning, asset preservation, probate/trust administration and estate litigation.