Can you forgive and forget?

My wedding anniversary is next month and that got me to thinking about all my bride Susan and I have shared together for 47 years. So many special moments and the sad part is that some of those memories are fading away. Like many older couples we forget things. Where did I leave my glasses? I can’t find my car keys. And the big one: What did I come into the kitchen for? Let me tell you about another couple of married seniors. A husband and wife, in their late eighties, both were becoming extremely forgetful. For example, the husband would often forget where he put his walking cane. He went from room-to-room searching for it and then forgot what he was looking for. His wife would announce that she was going to the store for butter, but she would forget what she was shopping for when she got there. One evening, as they watched TV, the husband stood up, and the following dialogue took place: Wife: “Where are you going?” Husband: “To get snacks, it’s my turn.” Wife: “I want a hot fudge sundae. Write it down!” Husband: “I don’t have to write it down.” Wife: “And put nuts on it. Write it down!” Husband: “I don’t have to write it down!” Wife: “And whipped cream on top. Write it down!” Husband: “I told you I don’t have to write it down.” The husband then went into the kitchen to get the snacks. When he returned, he presented his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look and said: “Where’s the toast? “Forgive and forget,” we often say. And that’s good advice unless misunderstood. For there is one thing that forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is a miracle of grace. And you need no miracle of grace to forget something that doesn’t matter much to you. If you’re anything like that elderly couple at snack time, all you need is a bad memory. In Matthew 18 Peter asks, “Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As many as seven times?” Jesus replies, “Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!” Jesus’ emphasis could not be more persuasive. This is a lesson never-to-be-forgotten. The Kingdom of God is built on a foundation of mercy and forgiveness! Does Jesus’ teaching seem too demanding? He teaches us that it is not enough to stop hating; we also must start loving. He shows us that, having been hurt, it’s not enough to let the matter drop; we must forgive the offender. He teaches us that it’s not enough to say “I forgive you”; we must mean what we say and prove it. northsalemchurch@gmail.com