So, you’re about to graduate...

As Bob Dylan once sang, “the times they are a-changing.” Winter turned into spring, then it went back to winter, then it went back to spring, jumped into summer before returning to spring. Trying to predict the weather is like trying to guess what the gas price will be tomorrow. Unfortunately, it seems both the temperature and the price of oil is looking to be like the rent, too dang high.

Stephen King wrote in his Dark Tower books that “Ka is a wheel.” If you’ve never read the books, first off shame on you, but the premise is that life is a wheel and what you do will eventually come back to you. Sorta like karma.

When you’re in the newspaper business, there’s a cyclical nature to it. Every year the same thing occurs. Blueberry Festival, the Best of Marshall County, the start of school, county budget hearings, and of course school graduations.

The latter is what I’d like to address in this rant. In the next few weeks, a new class of adults will be leaving high schools and entering the “real world.”

I have to admit, I feel pretty old just thinking about it. I graduated from John Glenn High School 18 years ago. That means when I completed my high school career, most of the current graduates were still in their diapers.

Yup, I definitely feel old right about now. Like most older generations, I feel it’s my duty to try and tell the younger generation how to live their lives. It’s what happened to me so I figure it should happen to them too. Remember, there’s a whole cyclical theme going on here. So, here are some tips for the graduating class of 2022.

1. Don’t procrastinate!

I know, you’re going to ignore this. I have, I did, I’m still ignoring it 18 years later. Sure, you were able to stay up all night drinking Red Bull and writing that essay about World War II. And maybe you were able to get a B on it. But that was high school. This is the real world. Plus, if you don’t learn to plan accordingly then you’ll be staying up all night completing your work when you should be sleeping. And let me tell you something. When you are 18, it’s okay to stay up all night staring into a computer screen. But when you’re my age (36), your fingers start to ache and grow stiff from being forced to type. Your back starts hurting because you never adopted correct posture. You have to start worrying about blood clots because you’ve just spent countless hours sitting. Growing old sucks.

2. Take care of your body

So, this tip and the first tip sort of go hand in hand. Any job you have will come with certain health hazards. Newspaper writing means sitting in front of a computer for long periods of time. Law enforcement means sometimes putting yourself in potentially deadly situations. Shark taming means being in close proximity to sharks, often times they’re ill-tempered. Being a politician means selling your soul in order to advance your party’s goals.

Okay, so there was one of those examples I made up, but I’ll let you be the judge on which one was fake.

The point I’m trying to make is to take care of your body, both mentally and physically. If you know you’re going to be sitting for a while, make sure to get up and walk around every once in a while. If you’re a shark tamer, make sure you have a will prepared. I hear that profession bites.

Every person has their limits. Don’t push yourself to the point where you collapse from exhaustion. You’re no good to your boss, your coworkers, or yourself if you’re burnt out.

3. It’s okay to say no

That’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s okay to tell people no every so often. If someone asks you to sub for the old shark tamer, you can tell them no. In my rather cynical viewpoint on humanity, we are people that crave more. Humans are takers. That’s why you shouldn’t be a writer, you should be a buffet franchise owner.

People will ask favors of you. I’m not telling you to say no to them every time. However, don’t over extend yourself. If you can help someone out, then cool. If you can’t help someone out, then it’s okay to admit that. That actually leads me to my next point

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help You’re getting ready to leave the nest. This is a challenging next step because you’re entering into a world that doesn’t wait for you. If you stumble and fall, you might get trampled. If you get fired from your job, you still have to pay your rent/utilities/ phone bill/etc... The landlord won’t care why you can’t pay your rent. The landlord only cares about how and when you’ll pay the rent. That’s why it’s important to ask for help when times get tough. Your friends and family care for you (hopefully), and I would think that they would help you if you asked. That being said, don’t expect your best buddy to pay your rent for you. He/she has their own set of debts to pay. However, they might be able to let you stay a few nights on their coach while you get back on your feet.

It’s tough overcoming our pride. When I left college the first time, I swallowed my pride and went back to my hometown’s gas station and asked for a job. When I had left for college, I swore that I’d never work there again. It was tough acknowledging that I had failed.

Think about it this way: If you’re taming a shark and it clamps down on your hand, are you going to try to pry it free or are you going to shriek for help?

5. Don’t be a shark tamer

My last tip is a funny one, but it also has some truth to it. If you ask Yahoo: is it possible to tame a great white shark? You’ll find the following answer: “The short answer: Nope.”

Don’t do things that you know will have horrible consequences. For instance, I know that if I try to become a shark tamer, I’m going to lose an arm or a leg. That’s the best case scenario. I also know that if I break the law, I’ll most likely get caught doing it. Now, if you want to go ahead and do something ill-advised (like shark taming) even though you fully understand the consequences... that’s another topic for another day.

With all that being said, congratulations to all those that are graduating. It’s an important time in your life. Now you’ll get to experience all that adulthood holds. Like taxes, working more than 40 hours a week for less than minimum wage, making a decision on whether or not you can afford to go to the emergency room, and making important life choices like Pizza Hut or Papa Johns.