An apology, the library at Alexandria and Big Media

I have an apology to make to Leonardo Davinci over last week's column. I had indicated that I felt he was cheating by using a smartphone for his great inventions and ideas.

Well, I saw his commercial endorsing Samsung products again this weekend. Apparently, I missed the word "NOT" in giant block letters in front of Leonardo's name.

It's actually an actor's depiction and not the actual Leonardo Da Vinci.

It seems he's been dead for quite some time. I didn't even know.

My thoughts and prayers to the Davinci family.

My clothes don't work anymore. I don't know. They just aren't the same since...the incident.

Etiquette question: Since the man himself is no longer with us, could we — out of respect — STOP saying "Coolio" when you are chill with something?

If you are one of those people, PLEASE instead just observe a moment of silence out of respect. "Tell me why are we, so blind to see, That the ones we hurt, are you and me?"

Everybody knows what they look like head-on.

Does anybody really know what they look like from behind?

Does anybody really care?

That's a song by Chicago, isn't it?

As far as I'm concerned this "living with others" stuff is vastly overrated.

I believe that somewhere in heaven every thought I've ever had or word I've ever spoken is stored and cataloged. Like a library. To be used against me in a court of law.

I kind of hope mine shares the fate of the Library at Alexandria. I mean, nobody told me I had the right to remain silent.

To the guy who wrote the song "Wagon Wheel":

For God's sake why?

What did we ever do to you? Just not cool at all dude. Not cool. For those of you watching "Ted Lasso" on Gestapo (Apple) TV:

You realize that it's just "Gilmore Girls" but with a soccer team. Right?

I'm sick of being called "Big Media". I'm trying to diet so back

off.

It's tough to get to the gym when you are sitting at your desk all day typing lies.

How would you like it if we showed up at your workplace and called you "Big Accounting"? Huh? Not so funny when the shoe is on the other foot is it?

Before you speak, think about the pain your little Qanon nicknames can cause.

You ever stop and wonder what made somebody way back in time think that something was edible?

I have to believe the first guy who tried dragonfruit did it on a drunken $5 bet at the frat cave.

I didn't make a Bears joke this week. That's because it's just not funny anymore.

Do you get the feeling that Tom Brady and Aaron Rogers look at Pat Mahomes as that annoying little cousin at the family reunion that everybody loves and thinks is so cute and who easily beats you at the sack race, and corn hole and badminton even though he's half your age and you are really trying?