The Custom of Calling Cards
One of the fascinating social customs from the Victorian age was the calling card. Calling or visiting cards, first employed in 15th century China and later used by the aristocracy of 17th century France, became popular with England’s nobility and rich in the 1800s. The cards served a number of social purposes, such as a means of introduction, to further acquaintanceship, to express congratulations or condolences and to provide notices of arrival or departure. Card etiquette had strict rules.
Society homes often had a silver tray in the entrance hall where guests left their cards. A tray full of cards, with the most prominent cards on top, was a way to display social connections. Both men and women used calling cards and they were distinguishable by size. Men’s cards were long and narrow so they could fit in a breast pocket. Women’s cards were larger, and during the Victorian era, became more ornate and embellished. According to an article from 1890, a typical society woman handed out nearly three thousand cards a year.
When wishing to arrange a visit, a caller generally waited in a carriage while a servant delivered the calling card to a household. If delivering the card in person, it was customary to fold the upper righthand corner. This indicated that the caller made the effort to deliver the card personally. The visitor then returned home and within a few days would likely receive a calling card in return, sometimes with a short note written on the back. This usually extended an invitation to visit. Visits were short, formal and at designated visiting hours. If a calling card wasn’t acknowledged, or worse, returned in a sealed envelope, it meant that the offer to visit was rejected.
When leaving a calling card, different messages could be communicated by folding different corners of the card.
• The lower left-hand corner to express condolences
• The upper left-hand corner to express congratulations
• The lower right-hand corner indicated that the caller was planning a long trip and did not expect an acknowledgement
If the household contained more than one woman, a gentlemen folded a corner to indicate he intended to visit the entire house
hold. A woman also followed strict protocol when leaving calling cards. She never left her card at a home where a bachelor resided without including her husband’s card. When leaving after a visit, a woman generally left two of her husband’s cards – one for the master of the house and one for the mistress.
In the late 19th century, “flirtation cards” became all the rage. In our collection, we have some unique cards that were used to make very specific requests, marriage proposals included.
Your coral lips were made to kiss,
I stoutly will maintain; and dare you say my lovely miss,
that aught was made in vain? By the blushes on thy cheek, and
the glances of thine eye, love most eloquently speaks: “without me thou would’st die” Another card design requests the privilege of escorting a lady home from an event. This example ends with a plaintive note. Fair Lady;
Will you allow me the pleasure of seeing you home this evening? If so, keep this card, if not, please return it. Yours respectfully:
If I can’t see you home, may I sit on the fence and see you go by?
By the early 1900s, calling and flirtation cards began to decline in popularity just as the use of business cards was on the rise. A change in formal social customs and new-fangled telephones led to a steady decrease in arranged visits. We are fortunate to have some lovely examples of vintage cards in our collection.