Come to our wedding, with a fee
Today’s Sound Off concerns wedding etiquette and customs:
Dear Heloise: I know the times change, and so do many of the customs and manners that we’ve all observed over time. My husband and I are invited to the wedding of my niece and her fiance next month, but we are not going. In fact, most of the family will not be attending. Apparently, my niece and her fiance are charging people to attend their nuptials. They requested that people send them $300 for a single person and $500 for couples. In place of a wedding gift, they also want a donation to their honeymoon.
My niece is a college graduate and lives on her own. She said that with paying off college loans and normal living expenses, they can’t afford the dream wedding they’ve always wanted. When I suggested they have a small family wedding and give up the idea of charging people to come to her wedding, she pitched a fit. When her mother refused to pay $16,000 for a wedding dress, she really came unglued!
Is this something new with modern weddings? I find it crude and rude to charge people to attend a wedding. People attend a wedding to help celebrate a new beginning for a couple.
Apparently, out of 210 invitations, only a handful are attending, and so far, no one has sent them a dime. What are your thoughts on this practice of charging someone to attend a wedding? Is this the way things are done now? -- Angry Aunt in Arlington, Virginia
Angry Aunt, I’m with you. I never understood why a wedding must be lavish to be meaningful and memorable. Smaller weddings are usually more intimate, less stressful on the bride and groom, and allow the newlyweds to save money for a house or have a very nice honeymoon.
If it’s of any comfort, every spring, I get many letters from people concerning unusual or outrageous request from brides. Just say, “Sorry, I can’t (or won’t ) do that.” -- Heloise
SEND A GREAT HINT
TO:
Heloise
P.O. Box 795001
San Antonio, TX 78279-5001 Fax: 1-210-HELOISE Email: Heloise@heloise.com
WEDDING GIFTS
Did you receive a wedding gift? Here’s what to remember when writing those thank-you notes:
-- Thank them for the gift and be sure to mention what the gift was.
-- Mention how the gift will be used.
-- Also thank them for attending the wedding if they came to the ceremony.
-- Both the bride and groom should be sending out thank-you cards as soon as they return from their honeymoon.
-- Use handwritten thank-you cards, not the generic printed ones.
HAIRSPRAY
Dear Heloise: I am 90 years old and grateful for your hint column. My hairdresser gave me this hint: I had ink on my lightly colored slacks, and she said that hairspray would take the stain off. And it did! Hairspray also takes off blood stains after the item gets sprayed and washed. -- Lois H., Fort Wayne, Indiana
Lois, yes, that’s one of my all-time favorite hints. Thank you for your letter and for being such a faithful reader for so many years. My mother first tried that hairspray hint when my dad came home with an ink stain on his shirt after a pen had leaked in his pocket. It worked like a charm. -- Heloise
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