The Things We Remember

I picked my friend up from the South Bend International Airport on Saturday. He was coming home from a business trip to North Carolina. I had driven him to the airport the Wednesday prior to that. Of course, on Saturday, I had to be there at 4 p.m. On Wednesday, I had to get him to the airport by 4 a.m.

Because I dropped him off that early, my body for reasons unknown to me adjusted to rising up early and now I’m wide awake by 6 a.m. It’s absolutely horrible. In my opinion, it should be illegal to wake up and start the day before the sun rises.

I told another friend of mine about waking up at 3 a.m. and taking my pal to the airport. That friend thought I was nuts. In truth, there are only a handful of people that I would do something like that for and my friend is one of those people. We became friends in first grade and that friendship has lasted ever since. Sure, there have been a few times when we weren’t talking, but those times didn’t last long. He’s really more of a brother than a friend at this point.

On the trip back to Plymouth, I brought up a Tiktok I watched recently. It was by Christopher Claflin and he talks about Millennials being bored back in the early 2000’s. I won’t get into all of it, but he starts talking about how we, I’m an elder Millennial, spent time with each other. He mentions being with your friends, spending the day playing video games in the same house.

“It’s not really about winning, cause it kinda is but it’s not. It’s about the people who you’re physically with,” Claflin says.

That sparked my friend and I reminiscing about all of our core memories. We talked about spending Friday nights at his house playing video games, the feeling of going to the rental store (RIP Tractor Shop in North Liberty) to rent out video games for the weekend, spending an entire summer fishing at Potato Creek (we never caught anything), and so many other things.

I find it funny, the things we remember. Until that car ride home, I forgot that Martin’s Supermarket on the south side of South Bend had a video rental. Once I remembered it though, I could tell you how to find it. All you do is enter the store and turn to your right, it’s all the way down that main aisle.

I was playing chess with a friend earlier this week and we got to talking about the types of chess sets we had. I only have two sets; both were given to me by my grandfather. As I got to thinking about my grandfather and his love of chess, I realized that I never got the chance to play with him. I texted my sister and asked if she ever played with him and she said she never did.

My grandfather loved watching us grandkids play chess. I still remember him giving me “Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess”, a book with so many chess puzzles and strategies. He would ask me about the puzzles and what I thought of the book whenever we hung out. I remember looking around his vehicle and finding those electronic chess games. I know the young kids won’t know what I’m talking about, but it was one of those games where the pieces had pegs that you’d press into the board, so the computer knew where you moved.

As you might expect, as I started thinking about the game, I have so many cherished memories that are linked to chess. When my nephews and niece were learning the game, I told them that if they defeated me for the first time, I’d take them to Dairy Queen. I’m one of the people that will not go easy when it comes to games with children. My ex-wife and I once got into a fight because I figured out that she cheated in a game of Candy Land. She rigged it so my nephew would beat me. My view is, if you go easy on people (including children), it never teaches them perseverance, patience, problem solving... all the p words.

I remember when my nephews beat me for the first time. At first, they didn’t believe it. Then the realization dawned in their eyes, and they were so proud of themselves because they did something that was nigh impossible. I’m sure it’ll be a core memory for them when I’m dead and they remember their uncle. At least, I hope it does.

I’ve been playing Magic: The Gathering, it’s a card game, since 1997. My oldest sister taught me. Some of my fondest memories are of that game and the people I played it with. When my sister was trying to teach me, we were at my grandma and grandpa Master’s house. Our grandma didn’t want us playing with the cards in her house because there was a negative stigma surrounding them. So, we went over to elementary school nearby and my sister taught me about it on the playground. I’ll always remember the time my ex-wife and I entertained over ten people in our apartment. We had ten people playing the same game over three tables of various sizes. It was the craziest game of Magic, but I’ll always remember it. I remember the first deck I built for my ex-wife.

Claflin ends his Tiktok by talking about what is different from now and then. He talks about technology becoming a wedge between people. We play video games in different houses, we order food to our homes instead of going out. We might watch a movie as a family in the same room, but everyone is on their cellphones playing games or watching Youtube.

“We’re just, like, drifting apart as a species. And the more that we drift apart the more that we crave the simpler times when we didn’t have all of these distractions. We just had each other,” Claflin said.

When I think of my core memories, I think about playing chess with my father, spending an entire week (literally) playing Magic: The Gathering with my buddies from sunup to sundown breaking only for food and bathroom breaks. I remember all the Halo parties we had, all the D&D sessions. Heck, I even count the time my mom tried to push me down in the snow when I was a freshman as a core memory. Or when I, as an adult, drove my mom and aunt to near insanity repeating the phrase, “Gimme that cookie” over and over again.

What I don’t count as core memories are the countless hours being alone in a room playing video games or the countless movies, I watched by myself. Even though I love reading, there’s maybe a handful of moments I’d count as core memories.

All of my most cherished memories involve my friends and family. And maybe a few coworkers.

I’m an introvert, but I recognize that we need others to survive. What will it be like if technology continues to separate us? You might be calling me a nutjob right about now but look at AI. There are countless apps on your phone that call themselves “Virtual Girlfriends.”

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe we all need to put down the controller/tablet/phone and go out in the sun. Go fly a kite. Spend some time with friends. Play a game of chess with your nephews.