Friend work­ing three jobs en­vies man on easy street

The Progress-Index - - AMUSEMENTS -

DEAR ABBY: I am hav­ing is­sues with a friend who gets handed most every­thing he wants. I had to grow up when I was very young, pay my own way for things and take care of my­self. I work three jobs to pay my rent in a house with four other peo­ple while still pur­su­ing my pas­sion.

This friend is un­em­ployed. He lives in an apart­ment his par­ents pay for and goes on fre­quent road trips. I have reached a point where I have be­come se­ri­ously en­vi­ous, and I’m not sure how to stop feel­ing frus­trated that he has an eas­ier life than I do.

I care about our friend­ship, but it’s phys­i­cally painful some­times when he talks about these lux­u­ries that I can’t af­ford. Should I cut off the re­la­tion­ship? Is this some­thing I should talk about with him or some­thing I need to work on my­self? —

EN­VI­OUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR EN­VI­OUS: Why not do both? Tell him how his go­ing on and on about his “lux­u­ries” makes you feel. If that doesn’t in­crease his sen­si­tiv­ity to the dis­par­ity in your sit­u­a­tions, you have my per­mis­sion to end the re­la­tion­ship.

HOW­EVER, while you are work­ing on your­self, please un­der­stand that your friend’s par­ents are do­ing him no fa­vors. “Chil­dren” raised with­out an in­cen­tive to suc­ceed are not of­ten suc­cess­ful in life. They don’t have the tools you have. You are in­de­pen­dent. He isn’t. Rather than work to build suc­cess in a pro­fes­sion, he’s tak­ing road trips. You know the value of hard work, and with each of the jobs you work, you are gain­ing ex­pe­ri­ence and fo­cus.

From my per­spec­tive, if I had to say which of you is richer, it is you. Step back and you will rec­og­nize you have noth­ing to be jeal­ous about, and you’ll be able to change your think­ing.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Jeanne Phillips

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