Friends’ hearing issues lead to awkward outings
Dear Abby: We live in a retirement community. Many of our friends have hearing loss that ranges from slight to profound. While most of them have the money to travel the globe, they don’t invest in hearing aids, which confounds us.
In restaurants, they keep bending their ears toward us and saying “Eh?” to just about every word. We are careful to enunciate clearly for their benefit, but it doesn’t help much. Our natural inclination is to speak louder, which has embarrassed us several times as other diners grew quiet and turned to look at us.
On the most recent occasion, I brought a little notebook and pen in my purse, and when I wrote out a couple of responses, the wife looked offended. It didn’t feel comfortable, but I thought it would be better than yelling or avoiding conversation altogether.
We find ourselves declining invitations with them more often in favor of electronic communication. These are delightful people otherwise. We’re just not sure how to handle this. Do you have any suggestions?
Working Ears in Florida
Dear Working Ears: Yes, I do. Tell these people privately that they may need to get their hearing checked because you are having to shout when you go out in public. Hearing loss happens to many seniors, and those who have the problem can find themselves increasingly isolated. This is why it’s so important to consult an audiologist when you start noticing a need to raise the volume on the television, or you often have to ask people to repeat what they have said to you.
Dear Abby: My son and his fiancee are getting married next month. They’re calling it an elopement, but although they have been telling everyone when and where the wedding is, they are not formally inviting anyone. I have come to terms with that. I realize the day is about them, not me. However, this is my only child, and I have always dreamed about being part of this milestone in his life.
I’m sure this is his fiancee’s choice and he is just going along with what she wants, but it is hurting me terribly to not be there. They have also decided a reception in their honor will be held six months afterward. Who does this? Is this proper etiquette?
Broken-hearted Mother
Dear Mother: The rigid rules of etiquette have loosened considerably in recent years. Many younger people prefer the casual over the formal. Please don’t lay the sole blame on your soonto-be daughter-in-law without first discussing this with your son, because you may be shocked to learn this nontraditional wedding is happening with his enthusiastic blessing. If that’s the case, quietly let go of your “dream.”
As to not being with your son on this special day, if you haven’t received a formal invitation, SHOW UP WITH A SMILE ANYWAY and offer your services as a witness. Those who attend the wedding should be invited to the reception, and if they attend the reception, they should come with a gift in hand.
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ACROSS
1 Baseball’s Berra 5 Punctuation mark 10 __ to; increases 14 In the sack
15 Dodge
16 Boyfriend
17 City near Lake
Tahoe
18 Not excessive
20 PBS’ Science
Guy
21 Smallest coin 22 __ up; caused
Mom problems 23 Makes level 25 Australia’s
national bird
26 Motto
28 Julius or Sid 31 Baffling riddle
32 __ about; got
wind of
34 Tow
36 Fervent 37 Memorize 38 __-fry; wok dish 39 Butterfly catcher’s
need
40 Computer bug
41 Tea biscuit
42 Bundle of energy 44 In need of a
haircut
45 As cool __
cucumber 46 Africa’s Sierra __ 47 Range
50 Lion’s hair
51 Attempt 54 Discipline
57 Dayton’s state 58 Suffix for bear or
break
59 Refueling ship
60 Prison cubicle 61 Utters 62 Pushover
63 Long walk
DOWN
1 Afghan maker’s
supply
2 Toe the line 3 Impulse to give
4 Matrimony words 5 Lurch from side
to side 6 Appliance store
display
7 Protective ditch 8 Prefix for place
or print
9 Hullabaloo
10 Early counter
11 Money owed 12 Valley
13 Hauled into
court
19 __ names; was a
snitch
21 Ivan IV or
Feodor I
24 No longer young 25 Deserve 26 Extend across 27 Cherished 28 Accords &
Sonatas
29 In the __; naked 30 Being sorry for
32 Sandwich type 33 __ de cologne
35 Author Zane
37 __ beans
38 Look over quickly 40 Florist’s shelf
supply 41 Oxford or clog 43 Sea forces 44 Guard 46 Freeway
divisions 47 Baths with
seats 48 Oompah band
instrument 49 Exclusively
50 Turn to slush 52 Irk
53 Part of an egg 55 Bunny’s
move 56 “Mamma __!” 57 Two months
ago: abbr.