Employee accidentally sends text to boss
DEAR HARRIETTE:
I was trying to send a text message to my friend, and it inadvertently went to my boss. There wasn't anything bad in it, per se. But my language was a bit racy. I used a couple of curse words and incomplete sentences. It was the shorthand I use when I talk to my friends.
Anyway, I was embarrassed to learn that my boss had received it, and he replied that I must have made a mistake in sending it to him. I immediately apologized and explained that I had written it to my friend, but somehow I now feel like he looks at me a little differently. At work I am totally buttoned up and professional. He got to see a more relaxed side, but I'm not sure if he likes that. Is there anything I should do to refresh his image of me? — TMI
DEAR TMI: Even your boss has a private life where he probably lets his hair down. If anything, it would be good leadership for him to show you that he understands your mistake and that your missent text to him was no big deal. You must not make it bigger than it is. So you cursed — who cares? Life goes on. Remember who you are and how you present at work. Be your professional self, and leave this tiny mistake in the past.
In terms of sending communications electronically, you may want to step back a moment and review whatever you have written before you push send in the future. If the wrong person intercepted it, would you or anyone else be harmed? Are you sending it to the right person?
DEAR HARRIETTE:
I just saw a friend of mine I had not seen since before the pandemic except on Zoom. He is a wonderful man, and we have been professional friends for decades. When I saw him, I was shocked. He has gained at least 50 pounds in the past three years. He has always been a fashionable guy, but not this time. He just looked unhealthy. I'm going to assume that he knows what's going on. He never struck me as someone who doesn't pay attention to these things. Is it my place as his friend to ask about the obvious? I'm worried about him. — Do I Say Something?
DEAR DO I SAY SOMETHING?:
It is highly unlikely that your friend does not realize he has gained some weight. For starters, he would have to be wearing bigger clothes. I do not recommend that you ask him about his weight. What you can do is just talk to him. Invite him out for coffee. Tell him what's been going on in your world during the past three years, and ask him about himself. Let him open up to you. The reality is, you cannot change his course. He has to do that himself. If you have a recent personal story of struggle or transformation, you may want to share that with him in a natural way so that he can see what you have been going through. Otherwise, you must wait until he brings it up.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.