Friend questions responsibility when woman drives drunk
DEAR HARRIETTE:
I recently went out with a friend of mine. She had a few too many drinks. I asked her not to drive home and offered to call her an Uber, but she was adamant that she was fine to drive. Knowing that wasn't the case, I convinced her to let me order her some food in the hope that she would sober up a little bit, but she was still insistent on driving home.
The next day, she confessed to me that she had been, in fact, way too drunk to drive, and she felt terrible about it. It really got me thinking about my responsibility in this situation. I didn't want to be overbearing or aggressive, but at the same time, I felt that I needed to do something to prevent a dangerous situation. She was so insistent on driving, I guess I just got tired of arguing. Do you have any advice on how I should handle a similar situation in the future? — Feeling Guilty
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: It can feel impossible to manage a situation like this when a friend is
drunk and belligerent and absolutely insistent on doing something that is dangerous. You were right to stand your ground and at least get her some food. It probably would have been even better to require her to ride with you, get a taxi or otherwise not drive her car. Could you have demanded that? Perhaps, if you could have gotten possession of her keys, but it surely would have been a battle.
What you can do now is make an agreement with your friend. Talk about the future. Promise each other that if either of you is ever in danger — due to intoxication or anything else — you will have each other's back. That means if your friend deems that you are drunk, you have to turn over your keys, even if you don't agree. Similarly, if there's some other threat of danger, you agree to trust the other person to make a smart decision if you are not thinking coherently.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been trying for several months now to get a meeting with a woman who was referred to me by a friend. She has had to reschedule three times
already. I am beginning to lose confidence. I have a great idea to share with her, but I wonder if there is even a remote chance that she will listen, given that she has not made meeting me a priority at all. How can I keep up my enthusiasm when I don't think she is interested? — Need a Boost
DEAR NEED A BOOST:
Hopefully you will get the meeting in question. Your job is to be ready. You need to wow this woman with who you are and what you have to offer so that when the meeting is over, she is clear about your value and how you can be effective for whatever she is doing. That means you have to prepare. What research is needed so that you are fully versed on her work? What do you need to do to connect the dots regarding how you fit into her needs? How can you talk about it so that your story is compelling and succinct? When the meeting happens, thank her for her time and go for it. What do you have to lose?
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.