Company executive yells at intern during meeting
DEAR HARRIETTE:
I am doing an internship at an energy company, and I am working on a solo project. I have been taking my time because this is my first internship, and I want to make a good impression. This week, I was sitting in a meeting with a lot of senior executives, and my boss's boss started screaming at me because I was taking too long on my project. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears, but unfortunately, a few slipped out during the meeting because I was so upset that he would call me out in front of all the employees so high up in the company, even though I was trying my hardest to complete the project. I was also confused because I was told that I needed to have the project finished a week before my internship ends, which is two weeks from now. I can't believe that instead of pulling me aside separately, he decided to yell at me in front of everyone. Do you think I should address this with someone in the company or keep quiet since I am just an intern? — Vulnerable Intern
DEAR VULNERABLE INTERN:
Speak to your boss. Ask for advice on how you might have handled yourself differently in that meeting. Request support on completing the assignment and making a good overall impression at the company. Inquire as to whether his boss is often harsh like he was to you, and find out what other employees do when he snaps like that.
You should also know that this man's behavior toward you was witnessed by the others in the room. Though people may not have commented — since he is the big boss — how he spoke to you didn't go unnoticed. You don't need to report him. Learn from the situation. Do your best, and keep it moving.
Seeing my best friend with my ex-boyfriend as his new lover hurts me deeply. The emotions that arise from this situation are overwhelming, and I am struggling to cope with the pain and betrayal. It is challenging to witness someone I care about moving on with my former partner, as it stirs up feelings of loss, jealousy and heartache.
DEAR HARRIETTE:
I am torn between wanting to express my feelings and preserving the friendships that mean so much to me, and I am unsure of how to move forward in a way that honors my emotions while also respecting the choices of those involved. — Betrayed by Love, Torn by Loyalty
DEAR BETRAYED BY LOVE, TORN BY LOYALTY:
I'm sorry, but your "best friend" is not acting like a bestie right now. There used to be unwritten codes of conduct around who close friends can date. For sure, people should not date their best friend's exes. That simply is not acceptable, and it should be understood. You should confront your best friend about why she made that choice and what she thought it would do to your friendship. Be clear with her that you consider her actions to be a betrayal of trust and honor. I'm not sure how you can stay friends with her after this, but what you can do is let her know how you feel.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.