Reader struggles with conflicts over custody
Question: My ex and I have joint legal custody of our child. We have an agreement that we will make decisions about doctor appointments, schooling, and extracurricular activities together, but lately our relationship has become hostile and he has refused to consent to doctor appointments and other activities for our child. Is there a way to modify this agreement?
Response: A child custody agreement can be modified if there has been a substantial change in circumstances and the court believes that modification is necessary and in the best interests of the child.
Child custody agreements are subject to modification by the court at any time before the child reaches the age of majority, which is 18 years-old for custody purposes. The arrangement you share with the father of your child appears to be a joint legal custody agreement, under which you and your child’s father have agreed to make decisions about the health, education, religion and general welfare of your child together.
The agreement you share with the father of your child is similar to the agreement in the case of Seacord v. Seacord (2011) where the parties decided in writing that they would follow “recommendations of treatment providers” and not “interfere with the children’s educational curricula, programs or activities, unless mutually agreed in writing.”
Despite this agreement, the father of the child in Seacord refused to consent to one child’s recommended orthodontic treatment and to another child’s recommended vaccination intended to prevent cervical cancer. In Seacord, The Supreme Court for the Appellate Division in the Third Department awarded sole legal custody to the mother due to the father’s “behavior and the continued deterioration of the relationship between the parties.”
Although a joint legal custody agreement, where the parents agree to cooperate with each other in the raising of their child is the ideal situation, a court may decide to modify that agreement and grant decision making authority to one parent alone when the “level of acrimony” between the parties makes joint legal custody “unfeasible.”
For example, in Deyo v. Bagnato (2013), the Supreme Court for the Appellate Division in the Third Department decided that because the parties failed to communicate with each other effectively and disagreed on “almost every significant aspect of the child’s life, including what doctor would treat the child, where she would attend preschool and what extracurricular activities she would participate in” it was in the child’s best interest that the joint legal custody agreement be modified to grant sole decision making authority to the child’s mother. In making the decision to grant sole legal custody to the mother instead of the father, the court cited to the father’s refusal to change the child’s current physician despite the physician’s recommendation that the child be treated by a pediatrician and his refusal to allow the child to attend the first night of her dance recital.
The Court may decide to modify a custody arrangement if there is a breakdown in cooperation causing a significant change in circumstances warranting modification and the modification is in the best interests of the child.
If you feel as though your situation warrants modification, you should contact an experienced family and matrimonial law attorney to discuss this option.