HELL ON WHEELS
Local roller derby team ready to kick off new season
TROY, N.Y. >> They fall, bruise, laugh, get up and keep rolling.
This is not the staged show many fans of roller derby may remember from years past. It is a tough sport built for some real tough ladies.
The Hellions, an allwomen’s roller derby team based in Troy, lace up their skates tonight to kick off the 2017 season. The team hosts its first match at 7 p.m. at Rollerama in Schenectady against the Roller Radicals from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, Pennsylvania. The next night, at 7 p.m., the team will welcome prospective members at a recruitment night, also at the roller rink on Hamburg Street.
Formed in 2008, the Hellions is completely owned and operated by its skaters, who handle all aspects of management, including bout production, coaching, public relations and merchandising. The program actually consists
of two teams, the Hellions and Herculadies, and members of both gathered at Rollerama on Sunday night for one of the final practices before their season debut.
Players unloaded suitcases of skates, wheels and helmets while chatting about a photoshoot they did earlier in the day for the league’s website. Despite how dolled up they may have been, they were about to leave some blood, sweat and tears on the hardwood.
It is at these practices that they work on technique, as well as train new team members, known as “fresh meat.” Since roller derby is a contact-heavy sport, it is essential for team members to work on skating skills, as well as learning safe pushing, hitting, jumping and skating in a pack. The team relies on a “meat mistress” to oversee the activity in the fresh meat program and help develop the newcomers’ fundamental skills before they graduate to participate in
actual bouts, first as members of the Herculadies, the program’s B team, before moving onto the main roster of the Hellions.
“Other derby teams have similar programs,” said Miley Virus, known off the track as Heather Eustace, “but I think meat mistress is something very unique to the Hellions.”
The team accepts members of all abilities and gives each a “meat name” upon registering and paying dues of $40 a month. Once members graduate from the meat program, which consists of three levels and a written test to demonstrate knowledge of the rules of the sport, they are able to choose their own name,
which is then stitched into the back of their jerseys.
“Some people have experience, like one of our skaters played hockey before, but we’ve had girls come in with no experience,” said Slammy Whipchester, AKA Jessica Walker, who joined the team in July and graduated from her team-given meat name, Hot Tamale, just a week before the team’s first bout.
“One of the fun things about practice is that everyone always cheers each other on,” said Giraffic Jam, real name Sandy Church, just before she ran to congratulate Slammy after she completed her final task as fresh meat.
Upon completing an endurance test, Slammy ditched her meat name and chose her own, a take on the character Sam Winchester from the television series “Supernatural.” Her teammates, after bruising her on the track, hugged and congratulated her as she fell to the ground in relief, basking in the triumph of skating more than 25 laps around the track in a few short minutes. The Hellions is a member of the Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby Association, which allows them to participate in several sanctioned bouts during the season to contribute to their ranking within the association.
“We have sanctioned bouts, but for a lot of us, it’s just about having fun,” said Giraffic.
Giraffic has been with the Hellions for just over a year and, though suffering from a knee injury, attended practice to record footage for the team’s recruitment video. Although she wasn’t skating, she didn’t miss an opportunity to joke, dance and laugh with her teammates.
“I always thought derby sounded super cool,” said Giraffic, whose first experience playing the sport was with the Hellions, “and I always wanted to be a skater girl.”
Other teammates started derbying with teams outside the area. Evelyn Melendez-Acosta, known as Fuerza Brutal when she serves as the team’s head coach, started her journey in Japan.
“My husband is in the Navy and was stationed out in Japan,” she said. “I started skating with the Yokosuka Sushi Rollers, based in Yokosuka, Japan. I trained and practiced so hard to learn how to skate and learn roller derby that when the time came to leave Japan, I couldn’t just give derby up.”
Fuerza said she tries as a coach to be intense, but also to maintain the positive and fun-loving environment she saw when she joined the Hellions. From bruise-covered arms to sticker-decorated helmets, players pride themselves on being dedicated to the sport and bettering their personal skills to improve the team.
“We’re all here for the love of derby,” said Brutal, “to have fun, be challenged, respect one another, repeat.”
For more information on the team or its recruitment night, visit their website www.gohellions.com.