Attitude key to tolerating stress better
The great psychologist William James once remarked: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
James uttered these words over 100 years ago, and, in my opinion, they are no less true today than they were then. In fact, if someone were to ask me what the greatest discovery of my generation is, my answer would be the same.
We often cannot control a situation or circumstances we find ourselves in, but we can always choose to control our attitude about that situation or circumstance. It is quite common for people who are struggling or stressed out to have a negative attitude. Most don’t even realize they have choices about which attitudes to adopt.
The serenity prayer is one of the most effective stress management tools in existence. The short version is: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Stress is most often the result of not having the wisdom to know that difference. An attitude of acceptance regarding things we cannot change, and an attitude of responsibility and action toward things we can, is, in my experience, one of the best stress-busting strategies we can employ. Life becomes much easier and less stressful when you stop trying to swim against the tide. When we do this, it is easier to develop a negative attitude, which is usually a precursor to being stressed out. All this does is create negative energy, which greatly limits our ability to cope with stressful situations creatively and adap- tively.
I recently read a book by Will Bowen, “A Complaint-Free World,” in which he challenges readers to go without complaining for 21 days, the time it takes to develop a new habit. He invites readers to wear a purple wristband and switch it every time they complain. Bowen says it takes the average person six to nine months to go 21 days without complaining.
I have recently taken this challenge, and it has raised my consciousness as to how frequently I complain and how difficult it is to break that habit. I strongly suggest you give this a try if you are serious about changing your negative attitudes,
It all starts with the decision to change our attitude. By eliminating negative attitudes from our lives, we will be more resilient in response to stress, we will be able to be more compassionate and focused, and we also be more fully present in the moment. Most of our stress is generated by being too focused on the past or future, when true happiness and peace are found in the present.
Therefore, strive to have a present-focused, positive attitude. You will likely find life to be far less stressful and much more worth living if you do.
Dr. Raymond Angelini of New Horizons Coaching has been in private practice for 30 years in Saratoga Springs and specializes in assisting individuals in finding and sustaining careers that are more rewarding, lifeenhancing and in keeping with one’s personal and spiritual values. For more information, email rayangel1@live.com or visit his website at www. newhorizonscoaching.com.