Family takes in homeless man, mom still controlling

Dear Annie: I met a homeless man and took him in. “Steve” has a mental illness and a drug problem. Come to find out he had been living with his mom, who threw him out over his drug problem. My family and I stood by Steve when he went to prison for a year, and we let him come back to our home. The problem is she is trying to control everything. She wants him every weekend, but he is a grown man. When they fight, she brings him back. Annie, how can I tell her that this is too much? Dear New Family: The real problem is addiction and the unhealthy dynamics that it has helped to create here. Though I applaud your good intentions in taking Steve in and I understand your wanting to protect him from his mother, it sounds as though you’re treating him more like a child than a grown man. All this will do is perpetuate a state of codependency. Encourage him to build a more robust support system, consisting of counselors and recovery groups. And set boundaries to ensure your own mental and emotional health, perhaps with the help of Nar-Anon, LifeRing or another support group for the loved ones of people with addiction.

Dear Annie: Recently, some friends and I were coming back from a camping trip, when a tire blew out. We were on the interstate, and it was pretty scary. Fortunately, I have AAA, so we called for roadside assistance. As the technician finished up changing the tire and was walking back to the car, my friend ran to tip him. I was mortified in that moment, realizing I hadn’t tipped the previous two times I got roadside help. I am not the type of person to skimp on tips in general, but I guess I was so preoccupied and stressed that I forgot. How rude was it of me not to tip in those two instances, and what are the expectations for tipping when it comes to roadside assistance?