Shy reader is embarrassed about propensity to blush

Dear Annie: I blush easily — like, really easily. In fact, I can feel my cheeks getting hot while writing this letter. I’ve had this problem since I was a kid. I’m light-skinned with reddish hair, so not only am I more prone to face redness but also it’s more noticeable when it happens.

My blushing used to be the worst whenever a cute guy would talk to me. Now that I’m older and a bit more confident around men, that’s not so much of an issue, though it does still happen occasionally. The place where it’s the biggest problem is at work. I’m a pretty shy person, so speaking up at work makes me nervous. I try to set those feelings aside, though, and make small talk and jokes with my co-workers from time to time, and I also try not to let my nerves get in the way of my speaking up during meetings. But when I’m about to say something during a meeting, my heart begins to race, and as soon as the words are out of my mouth and everyone is looking at me, I feel my face go red hot. The warmth comes over me so quickly that it’s as if someone put a match to a pilot light inside me. The worst part of all this is that knowing I’m visibly red makes me even more embarrassed, and I blush even more. It’s a vicious circle.

I’ve tried some redness reducing creams, but they don’t seem to be effective when I turn into a socially anxious tomato. Help! Dear Bashful: This is less about physiology than psychology. Sure, there are things you can try to address the physical aspect of the problem. Hot beverages and caffeine can cause flare-ups for people prone to redness, as can spicy foods, so you might want to avoid those things. You might also want to use warm, not hot, water when washing your face and showering. And drink plenty of cold water.

Really addressing this problem means turning off that internal “pilot light,” and that is your propensity for anxiety. Notice how you no longer blush around men because of your confidence. You need to find confidence in the workplace, too. You can try doing this on your own with positive self-talk. It may take a professional to wind it down.