Keep close eye on children

Maria (not her real name) is 11 years old. She will be in the seventh grade this fall. She and the other children gathered this past Sunday for the children’s meditation which is a part of the worship service at our church. I asked them what they had heard and felt about the recent shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio. Maria’s response brought tears to my eyes and others in the congregation. She said: “I worry that it can happen to me.” I assured her and the other children that as adults we will do everything we can to protect and keep them safe. Children are worried about where they will be safe: at school, in a mall, at the movies or just being out with friends at a park.

Many children and adults in our country who have not been the direct victims of gun and other forms of violence are experiencing vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma is when we have similar thoughts, feelings and dreams as though we have been harmed like others about whom we have heard who have been hurt or killed.

The recent mass shootings and reports about children at the U.S. and Mexican border being separated from their families can serve as triggers that stimulate fear and memories of other stressful and lifethreatening events in a person’s life. This is no less true for children as it is for adults who have been in similar situations causing them to feel profound vulnerability.

The theologian Howard Thurman wrote that “the doom of the children is the greatest tragedy of the disinherited.” The causes and violence of our time are disinheriting all of us, and especially our children, from the peaceful pursuit of justice and life, liberty and happiness.

Children and adolescents need to be encouraged to share with adults — their parents and teachers — their fears and anxiety about the violence that surrounds us. This task is imperative given our current social climate and since school is starting soon. Children and youth need to be reassured that we will do all we can to protect them. Some suggestions for this purpose are:

⏩ Parents, teachers and religious faith leaders become more informed about the possible impact and signs of trauma and vicarious trauma on their children and students and use this understanding in supporting children and families.

⏩ Religious faith leaders purposefully discuss with children, youth and their families how they are being impacted by violence and what they may do to help create a safe environment at school, in the community where they live and worship.

Acts of violence are unfortunately inevitable but, they need not be preferable. Nor should we or our children live in fear.