A guide to living into 90s

In recent months, I’ve found myself surrounded by nonagenarians. A lot of them. OK, get out your dictionary. I didn’t know what it meant either.

A “nonagenarian” is a person in their 90s. Become familiar with that term because it will be increasingly common in coming years. The word, which was first used in 1800, describes the cohort of seniors from 90 to 99, one of the fastest growing demographics in America.

By 2050, the population of people 90 and older is expected to reach 7.6 million, according to Census Bureau projections, and they will comprise 10 percent of those 65 and older, up from 2.8 in 1980. We’re living longer in America, and the older population is getting older. Within the past decade, the “oldest old” cutoff age went from 85 to 90.

My friend Bill in California is pushing 80 with some trepidation, and he recently tried to convince me that “Ninety is the new 60,” although the reality is more like “Ninety is the new eighty.”

Of course, with age comes challenges. A majority of nonagenarians are in nursing homes or living alone, and many have disabilities. The group also suffers from a higher rate of poverty.

However, the 90somethings I know are powers of example, especially for the younger generations, who don’t have many positive role models. They’ve taught me about the dignity of senior life in a culture where life is considered a commodity.

Remember that TV show “Thirtysomething” about the angst of Baby Boomers in their 30s as they tried to adapt to the real world after living in La-la Land during their teens and 20s? The selfabsorption of Baby Boomers — and I’m one of them — was probably unprecedented in history, at least until Gen X, the Millennials and Gen Z came along. And all of us could learn a lot from people in their 90s.

My newfound friends are a joy to be around. There’s Ann and Antoinette, there’s Lillian and Val. And there’s Jack and Joe and Len. Let me not forget Darren and Frank.

Ann, who’s 94, teaches exercise classes three days a week at the senior center and has more energy and optimism than people half her age. Every day she tells me a new joke to brighten my spirits. (Why was Cinderella such a lousy soccer player? She kept running away from the ball.) And she recently handed me a slip of paper with the quote, “Don’t give up. Most people say as you get old you have to give things up. I think you get old because you give things up.”

There’s also Antoinette, who is known far and wide for her world-class Italian cooking. You won’t find anyone younger who cooks better. Then, there’s Val, who drives his friends to church twice a week, not to mention Barnes & Noble, Dunkin’ Donuts and anywhere else they need to go.

They all share some defining characteristics. They’ve known hardship. They’ve known grief. They’ve known suffering. And they know illness. But they’re joyful. Life hasn’t beaten them down. They’re still standing and they’re hopeful, regardless of how many days, weeks or months they have left. Can young people say the same?

As my parents always told me, “respect your elders.” Our society would do well to respect them too. Why? Because they know more than the rest of us about what truly matters, and most importantly, they know the difference between right and wrong, which is a characteristic not many people share.

Nonagenarians may not be able to text message with their smart phones behind their backs, but they can teach us about fundamental values society has forgotten, such as integrity, perseverance, honesty, honor and loyalty.

Consider some of the most well-known nonagenarians in America, such as the legendary Dick Van Dyke, who’s 97. When he turned 95, he said he was “circling the drain” and “I never thought I’d live this long. I don’t know how I did it.” But as they say, “he’s still kicking.” And he’s not alone.

The entertainment industry has many nonagenarians who are still active, including the incomparable Tony Bennett, 96, Clint Eastwood, soon to be 93, Mel Brooks, 96, and James Earl Jones, 92.

Joining them in the 90something category are Barbara Eden, 91, Gena Rowlands, 92, Bob Barker, 99, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 94, Bob Newhart, 93, Gene Hackman, 93, and William Shatner, 92.

Even ordinary people who become nonagenarians have a lot to be proud of because as Bette Davis once famously said, “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” Unfortunately, she only made it to 81.