Brown shoes and man buns, some things are hard to believe

To say that life in America, circa 2018, is a very puzzling is quite an understatement. Keeping up with the ever-advancing technology is one issue. Keeping up with the ever-changing culture is another. Both present major challenges.

The only constant is the reaction that unavoidably takes place … over and over … day after day. Whether it occurs after reading a puzzling story in the newspaper, hearing a strange report on the radio, viewing a mind-numbing scene on television … or personally experiencing another headscratching moment.

After shaking my head in disbelief, I find myself saying the same thing – either to myself or out loud. “I don’t get it.”

To make matters worse, my moments of disbelief have expanded – into sub-categories. Here they are:

I Don’t Get It

• I don’t get … blue suits or grey suits with brown shoes. Distracting. I know it is a current fashion trend. But that’s just what it is — a trend. So was the leisure suit. When you see a grey suit with a pair of tobacco brown wing tips, it just screams, “Look at my shoes.”

• When people insist on using the Alphabet Soup language, even when speaking to others who have not been indoctrinated in their same technical atmosphere. Acronyms first became popular as a way to save time when communicating. By now everyone knows that RBI stands for Runs Batted In. Or ATM means Automatic Teller Machine. But nobody saves time when the Alphabet Soup dispenser has to take the time to explain acronyms like EDM (Electronic Dance Music) or OOF (Out of Office).

• All of the beards — especially the extra-long ones — being worn by players in Major League Baseball. It is refreshing to see players like Mike Trout and Scott Kingery, who look like baseball players.

I Really Don’t Get It

• I really don’t get … the man bun. Every time I see a guy with his long hair pulled back in a man bun, I just want to ask one question: “Why?”

• The fried egg on top of the cheeseburger … especially when the gloppy mess is compounded by a number of other ingredients. The great American cheeseburger is becoming overwhelmed. It’s like putting way too much makeup on Jennifer Aniston.

• And Pittsburgh’s famous Primanti Brothers Sandwich is even worse. In between two slices of Italian bread they cram

— 5-6 slices of grilled meat, a couple of slices of provolone cheese, a glob of coleslaw, two slices of tomato, a mound of French fries and a heart-stopping layer of mayonnaise. At first bite the gooey mess starts to run down your arm. Halfway through the sandwich you look like the loser in a food fight.

I Will Never Get It

• I will never get the full-arm tattoo on women. They claim it is an artistic addition … but I think it’s safe to say that most men regard it as a distraction.

• Ketchup on a hot dog. The lead condiment for hot dogs is mustard— followed by any other combination of relish, sauerkraut, onions, peppers, cheese or chili. Ketchup should be reserved for hamburgers.

• People who get handicapped tags so that they can transport elderly relatives … then continue to use the tag so they can get close parking for their own healthy bodies. Lazy. Inconsiderate. It’s all about me.

• Drivers who camp in the far-left lane on a highway and refuse to move to the right — where they belong. It is called a “passing lane” for a reason.

• And, while we are focused on inconsiderate drivers, those who find it too much trouble to use a turn signal should be condemned to a lifetime of living auto hell — perpetually stuck in rush-hour traffic on the Schuylkill Expressway.

Nothing on this list will be resolved by complaining. I still will find myself muttering, “I don’t get it,” numerous times during each day. But, at least there is the satisfaction of publicly announcing my bewilderment … thus providing an excuse for the puzzled look on my face as I try to navigate America in the year, 2018.

Tony Leodora is president of TL Golf Services, host of the weekly GolfTalk Live radio show on WNTP 990-AM and host of the Traveling Golfer television show — as well as editor of GolfStyles magazine. He is former sports editor of The Times Herald. Send comments to tlgolfservices@aol.com.