The Reporter (Lansdale, PA)

Husband keeps whole world updated on spouse’s health

- — Violated In Arkansas — Disappoint­ed In Illinois Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

My husband and I have been married more than 30 years. In the last five, I have had so many doctor appointmen­ts, medical procedures and surgeries that I have lost count. My husband thinks it is perfectly fine to tell family, friends and strangers about my medical conditions, tests and surgeries.

I asked a friend if she would pray for an upcoming test. She said she would, and would continue to pray until I told her otherwise. I had the test; the results were great. My husband told my friend the results without first asking me if it was OK. I realized it when she said, “Your husband told me the good news.”

Now, Abby, I understand it was good news but, in my opinion, it was MY medical informatio­n and I had planned to tell her the next time I saw her, which was three days after the test. My husband thinks it’s “no big deal” to tell people about what’s going on with me medically. I disagree! I believe it’s personal and nobody’s business.

I have asked, even begged, my husband not to tell anyone about my medical stuff. I went so far as to go to two appointmen­ts without telling him. He was furious that I didn’t let him come along. I told him why he was left behind, but he still didn’t get it, or maybe, didn’t think my feelings were important. Am I being too sensitive or should he keep his mouth shut?

DEAR VIOLATED » Your oversharin­g husband should respect your feelings and keep his mouth shut. You shouldn’t have had to beg him not to discuss your medical informatio­n with others. Would he be equally open to your telling folks about the state of his prostate, his Viagra consumptio­n, his colonoscop­y preps? Perhaps he will get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. It’s worth a try.

DEAR ABBY » I decided to get my daughter a birthday gift that would help her to relax. She is a nurse. Because she worked so hard through the pandemic, I thought a massage would be a good idea. I enlisted the help of her daughter and boyfriend to help pay for it. I work parttime and couldn’t manage it without their help.

I chose the business after reviewing it online and fronted the money to get a certificat­e in time for her birthday. More than a month has gone by, and I still haven’t received their share of the money from my granddaugh­ter or her boyfriend. In fact, I’m now being ghosted after texting requests for what’s owed.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m considerin­g dropping it so my daughter doesn’t find out. But I’m angry about getting hurt in this way. Both parties work. I don’t understand the treatment I’m getting. Please advise.

DEAR DISAPPOINT­ED » You may have to chalk this up to a life lesson. You have learned that your granddaugh­ter and her boyfriend (who I assume are self-supporting) can’t be trusted to honor their word. I do not think you should tattle to your daughter about this. The distress it could cause would be counterpro­ductive to the intent of your gift.

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