The Riverside Press-Enterprise
‘The Christmas Box’ is a wonderful way to share lasting memories
It’s a bit battered now, the Christmas box that has traveled between my niece, Staci, and me for many years. It originally came from the Harris Company, a wonderful small chain of department stores that used to be scattered throughout the Inland Empire. The box lid is red with a gold design of various musical instruments laid over one another; it is scarred white where strips of scotch tape were removed.
I don’t remember how it began, but Staci was a teenager when it did; she made one card in school dated 1983. She is now a married, 52-year-old mother of two. And I am an 81-year-old mother of three, grandmother of nine, great-grandmother of five and one more in the wings.
The one who had custody of the box that year would write a note and sometimes include a gift. Neither one of us would remove any notes; we kept them all with the box. Now, it is overflowing with the notes and letters that chronicled the years as the small box traveled between me in California and Staci in Northern California, Idaho or Washington state.
I had the little box in 1992. “As I write this, Gram is in the hospital — how many weeks, days or hours does she have? Grandpa lies asleep and snoring in the guest room. Your mom is curled up, asleep on the couch. Many things are in a turmoil… when this box comes to me again next year, what will be the memories and events of ’93? …but one thing’s for certain — I love you all — may you be reminded of us daily this next year…”
That last line tells me I must have made Staci a personalized picture calendar that year. I vividly remember that Christmas. It was my final year with my mother. I sat next to her in the hospital with the sounds of the breathing machine wheezing in and out mingled with Christmas carols playing in the background. She died on Jan. 12, 1993; ironically, Jan. 12 was my parents’ anniversary. It was a marriage that did not last.
Staci was an adventuresome one in her early adulthood, before the adventures that come with marriage and children. She taught a ropes course. She led troubled teens — some with famous parents — on wilderness hikes. On Dec. 6, 2000, Staci wrote, “Auntie M… by chance, I found this (picture) and it stirred up so many feelings and memories, I knew I had to share it with you. It was taken in June of 1998… that summer held so much courage, change and passion for me… I went to England and Scotland shortly after returning to CA. About a month later, I moved to Idaho. Man that was so brave. Driven by my heart and passion… This year has held so many changes for us both! For we are women of substance…”
At the time of her 1995 letter, she was a personal assistant to filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola. She wrote about designing and preparing 260 gift baskets. “Each employee was given a picnic basket with 2 bottles of wine, 2 of the Coppola label… Mrs. Coppola really liked them as did all of the employees… the day after Christmas, I will be flying to L.A. to accompany Mrs. Coppola’s 87-year-old mother back home… I went to George Lucas’ house last week to take his present from the Coppola’s… he has a ranch north of San Francisco called Skywalker Ranch… they are totally self-contained, they have their own Fire Dept…”
As exciting as that must have been, it was not the life Staci longed for. She wanted to be a wife and mother. The first part of that dream came true on Christmas, 2004. I wrote, “Dearest Staci and Brannon, What a year this has been — especially for the two of you — a year of new beginnings… This box has seen you grow up, Staci. And now, perhaps another little one will grow up as it makes the journey between us…”
In 2014, I had the box once again. “Another year has passed and this poor little battered box comes back to you. How can one small box encapsulate so much? During its travels back and forth, we have lost loved ones, we have gained loved ones — you kids all grew up and had your own… The years go by oh so swiftly. You grew up and I grew old… How can this be? I think I blinked and here I am… the gifts that go with this box are forgettable… of course, we both know it’s the love and memories inside that make it special. What a wonderful tradition, one shared by the two of us that began many years ago. Hope it goes on for many more…”
How lucky we were that we started this unique Christmas tradition as we recorded the 40-plusyear journey of this little box! To anyone reading this, I suggest you start a similar kind of tradition in your family or circle of friends now, this very Christmas and see it, too, become a treasure in years to come.