The spirituality of the win-win
Most of us are products of the capitalistic society in which we were raised. The mantra of our capitalistic society is that more is better, and for every winner, there must be a loser. However, all genuine spiritual paths always talk about the notion of “letting go.” So, according to spiritual wisdom, less is more. This flies in the face of our consumer culture where we never can seem to get enough of anything.
There is a very wise saying in 12 step recovery circles that says “You can never get enough of what you don’t need.” This is one of the underlying principles of all addictions, as all addiction is ultimately about seeking and not finding. Yet, this doesn’t stop the addict from continuing to search for that elusive “high” that he or she believes will ultimately satisfy them.
The Gospels, when read honestly and with an open mind, are always about winwin. This is in stark contrast with our win-lose model where only few win and most lose. The problem with the “win-lose” model is that it requires a large amount of socalled “losers” to satisfy the appetite of the few so-called “winners.” The problem with winning is that most people can seemingly never get enough of it. This may be good for the economy, but it can, and is, devastating to our spirituality. However, all that winning never seems to satisfy us on a deep soul level. It invariably leaves us wanting more. That fact that we have a seemingly insatiable need for winning tells me that the “win-lose” model leaves a lot to be desired. If some experience fulfills you and makes you happy, you don’t usually need more of it.
The truth is that what truly and deeply makes us happy on a soul level has nothing to do with achieving and winning. I believe that our deepest fulfillment comes from relating to God and each other on a deep spiritual level. If I am concerned with beating you or outdoing you in any way, it is impossible to connect with you on any deep level. Competition is of the ego, cooperation and connection are of the spirit. I believe that we are all essentially “spiritual beings having a human experience.” The only way to truly connect with God and each other is to first recognize each other’s inherent dignity and worth. Unless we do so, any deep connection is impossible. I believe that we can only achieve this type of connection by adopting a “win-win” philosophy, because in the end, that is the only philosophy that has ever worked.