Changed thinking key to overcoming negative habits

We have often heard it said that “We are creatures of habit.”

As most of us are well aware, habits are often hard to break, and negative habits are especially resistant to modification. I have found that underlying virtually all negative habits are a constellation of negative thoughts that we have absorbed over the course of our lifetime. These negative thoughts form the infrastructure and foundation of our negative habits.

While this infrastructure appears to be quite solid, the good news is that virtually everything we have learned can be unlearned.

Wayne Dyer, in his book “Excuses be Gone,” outlined seven core ideas for eliminating excuses and negative thinking and habits. I have found these tips quite useful in changing my own negative thinking patterns, and I hope you will find them similarly useful.

1. REMOVE ANY AND ALL LABELS

Soren Kierkegard, the famed philosopher and theologian once said “Once you label me, you negate me.” This labeling applies not only to how we view others, but also to how we view ourselves. Labeling limits our thinking and perceptions and leads us to make judgments about ourselves and others that are based on very limited information, much of which is often untrue.

Labeling is a form of prejudice and bigotry, thus it prevents us from seeing ourselves and others in an accurate and complete light.

2. CONVERSE WITH YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

Everything that we have experienced in our lives has been stored either in our conscious or unconscious mind. However, whatever our conscious mind either can’t or won’t deal with gets transferred to our unconscious mind. The model of our mind is frequently depicted as an iceberg, with our conscious mind representing that part of the iceberg that is above the water, while the unconscious mined is represented by that

part of the iceberg that is submerged.

As is quite evident, the part of the iceberg that is submerged is much bigger than the portion that is above the water’s surface, thus, it tends to wield more influence. Most of our negative thoughts reside in our unconscious mind, thus they are not as readily accessible or identifiable. The good news is that the content of our unconscious mind is also largely made up of what we have learned and experience during our lifetime,

and thus, can be unlearned.

Our task is to become more vigilant and aware of this unconscious thinking so that we can make it conscious, and therefore make it more amenable to modification.

3. BEGIN THE PRACTICE OF MINDFULNESS

Being mindful helps make the “unconscious” more “conscious.” It involves paying closer attention to our thoughts and not allowing negative thoughts to linger for too long in our mind. As I often say to my clients “We can’t always control what comes into our mind, but we can control how long

we let it remain there.”

4. COMMIT TO OVERCOMING YOUR INERTIA

Einstein once said “Nothing happens until something moves.” It also is true that nothing significant in our lives occurs until we move. All it takes to begin to overcome inertia is to take the first step. Once we have done this, momentum has begun to swing in the direction of action and away from inertia, or inaction. This is how every great endeavor begins, with that small, but definitive, first step.

5. Use the Power of Affirmations

Wayne Dyer said “We don’t attract what we

want, we attract what we are.” We all are made up of energy, both positive and negative. Which type of energy predominates depends on which one that we feed or reinforce more regularly. Affirmations are one way of regularly feeding our positive energy store. What we think about expands, so it is wise to be very careful about what we allow ourselves to think.

6. LIVE IN A HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE UNIVERSE

Our thoughts create the universe that we live in. If we want to be supported, we must offer support. Remember, we attract what we are! By being helpful

and offering support, you ensure that this energy will come back to you, especially when you need it most.

7. Don’t Complain, Don’t Explain

Complaints and excuses are all about giving our power away. They are both forms of blame, thus they are both traps that seek to make us victims rather than empower us to make the changes we most need to make in our lives. So strive to move from blame to responsibility, for that is the surest way to bring about the change that you are seeking.

I’d like to close with a quote from H. Jackson Brown, Jr. that I believe

aptly summarizes much of what has been written.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others.”