Woman must break silence about abuse to save sister
DEAR ABBY: I was molested for years by my brother and I never told anyone. It led to poor self- esteem, ruined the intimate side of my life and caused several other serious issues, including depression. I took the first chance I had to leave home and refuse to have contact with my brother. The problem is, I have a younger sister who I’m worried may now be in the same position.
I need to talk to her, but I’m not sure how. What do I say? Should I tell her what happened to me so she knows she is not alone and to stay away from him? – SCARED AND WORRIED IN ARIZONA
DEAR WORRIED: Talk to your sister about this as quickly as possible. Do it in person, and a way to start the conversation would be to ask if he has ever touched her inappropriately. Explain that it happened to you, because it may make it easier for her to tell you if she, too, has been molested. Since you are reluctant to talk to your parents about this, contact your local police department and ask to speak to an officer in the sex crimes division. It may set the wheels in motion to prevent your brother from continuing to prey on young women.
If you haven’t had counseling to help you deal with what you have suffered, I hope you will consider it. There is also a group, Survivors of Incest Anonymous, a 12- step program that is open to individuals 18 and older who want to go from being victims to survivors. Its website is http:// www. siawso. org. You might find talking with others who have experienced what you have to be both comforting and helpful.
DEAR ABBY: I feel lost. I’ll be 18 soon and for the past two years I have felt like my life is going nowhere and won’t change. I haven’t decided what I want to be, and I don’t want to grow up. I’m afraid of the future and what it will be like to be on my own.
I don’t know if anyone else has felt like this, or if it’s just a part of growing up. When I was 12, I couldn’t wait until I was 18 and on my own. Now I feel pressured and like I need to hurry and choose what I want to be. Please help me. – LOST IN VIRGINIA
DEAR LOST: Do you know where this pressure is coming from? It’s coming from yourself. Years ago, high school students had to decide what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives because the workplace was different. People trained for jobs they would perform until they retired. That is no longer true. Workers today must remain flexible and willing to learn new skills because they may change jobs several times during their working lives.
Not all people have the same interests and aptitudes, so start thinking about subjects that you like. Visit the library and research how they can be applied. Your future isn’t something to be afraid of – it’s something to be explored and enjoyed. You do not have to make any hasty decisions now.
DEAR ABBY: We go to a lot of summer social events. Quite a few of them include a band. I love listening to music and being in a social setting. How-
The Salvation Army Thrift Store, 4409 Central Ave., next to Kroger, is open from 9 a. m. to 6 p. m. Monday- Friday and 9 a. m. to 4 p. m. Saturday. It offers furniture, clothing and household items. Donations are appreciated. Proceeds benefit The Salvation Army programs. Call 525- 5059 for information.
Habitat ReStore, 350 Malvern Ave., is open from 9 a. m.5 p. m. Monday- Saturday. All profits go to Garland County Habitat for Humanity in order to build houses. Donations of all household items, including appliances, furniture and building supplies, are accepted during store hours. Call 3214241 for large item pick- up.
HGH Thrift Store, 423 Hobson Ave., is open from 9 a. m. to 2 p. m. Fridays and Saturdays.
RPM Thrift Store, 815 Albert Pike, is open from 10 a. m. to 3 p. m. Monday- Saturday. Articles include household items, appliances, furniture, TVs, women’s accessories, toys and more. Items donated are tax deductible. Proceeds benefit Recovery Point Ministry, a faith- based, nonprofit organization which provides a nurturing environment to help women step out of their pain from destructive habits and begin to rebuild their lives through the life- changing power of Jesus Christ.
D a t e b o o k from 8: 30 a. m.- 4: 30 p. m. Monday- Saturday. It has a selection of clothing for men, women, children and plus sizes; shoes, household items and furniture are available. Tax- deductible donations are accepted from 8: 30- 4 p. m. at the back door; or call 624- 5757 for free pickup of donations.
The Salvation Army Family Store, Malvern Avenue and Crescent Street, has gently worn men’s, women’s and children’s clothing, plus a selection of household items. The store is open from 9 a. m. to 6 p. m. Monday- Friday and 9 a. m. to 4 p. m. Saturday. Call 623- 1641 for tax deductible pickup of good, quality items. ever, I do NOT enjoy dancing. It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. When I am asked to dance, I fumble around and make excuses. What can I say when asked, without sounding unfriendly or weird? – TWO LEFT FEET IN PASO ROBLES, CALIF.
DEAR TWO LEFT FEET: How about this: “Thank you for asking, but no. I’m not very good at it and it makes me uncomfortable. Would you like to sit down?” urdays at Petco, in Cornerstone Shopping Center. All dogs and cats are neutered, up- to- date on shots and deemed healthy. To help transport dogs to Petco or work the adoption clinic, call the shelter, volunteers are needed. If interested in WalkA- Dog volunteer program, call Karen Hill, 623- 5012. The shelter is at 1249 Ault Loop, Lonsdale, off Highway 128 east of Hot Springs Village; phone 623- 5012. Free to the public, low- cost spay and neuter vouchers are available at the Thrift Store, 2026 Central Ave., in the Freeman Center.
Mountain Valley Sportsman’s Association holds International Defensive Pistol Association matches at 9 a. m. on the first Saturday and 1 p. m. on the third Sunday each month. Trap and Skeet matches are held at 9 a. m. Saturdays; and 1 p. m. Sundays and Tuesdays. All are held at Valley Range. From the intersection of Highway 70 east and Millcreek Road, take Millcreek and drive 6.5 miles to the gravel pit, turn right on the dirt road, go 1.9 mile to the range.
Village Card Club meets at 9 a. m. today for 0- 20 newcomers pairs and Easybridge!; and 1 p. m., open stratified pairs at Casa de Carta at the Woodland, 1101 DeSoto Blvd., Hot Springs Village. All bridge players are welcome. Call 915- 9296 or 9223346 for information.
Jim Cotton Fan Club meets at 7 p. m. Saturdays at Sam’s Pizza for free live music from Cotton. Call Judy Mullings, 627- 2531, for information.
Course in Miracles group will meet at 4 p. m. Sunday at Creative Life Church, 229 Bayard St. Facilitator is Bill Haywood. Call Robert Dominguez, 805- 801- 3575, for information.
VFW Post 2278, 2231 E. Grand Ave., behind KOA, has free pool from noon to 10 p. m. Saturdays. Hot dogs, Polish dogs and pizza are available. The grill is open from 5- 7 p. m. Sundays. Homemade burgers or cheeseburgers with fries are available for $ 4. Karaoke with DeWayne and Tammy Beavers is from 6- 10 p. m. Visit and sing along or just listen to the music. Post hours are 9 a. m. to 10 p. m. daily. Small and large rooms available for parties, family reunions and group meetings. Call the Post, 623- 5190, for information.
Women’s Welcome Club member’s card groups will meet Wednesday. Bridge players will meet at 10: 30 a. m. at Country Club Village, 1925 Malvern Ave.; Hand and Foot Canasta players at Perkin’s Family Restaurant, 3630 Central Ave. at 10 a. m. For information about the bridge group, call Sharon Moye, 760- 5256, or Glendalyn Spicer, 262- 0007; or hand and foot, T. K. Morris, 405- 740- 0105, or Donna Carvin, 525- 6459. New residents to Hot Springs within the last two years may call President Mary Beth Vowell, 767- 9359, about WWC activities.
Fraternal Order of Eagles 4369, 817 Hobson Ave., will have an open grill from 5: 307 p. m. today serving burgers; shrimp, chicken strip or drummie baskets; grilled pork or chicken sandwich; chicken strip salad; fries; and onion rings. The public is welcome.