Focusing on good manners
Manners are something individuals exhibit every day to make a good impression on others and to feel good themselves. When people use good manners, they are not only being respectful, but they are showing others around them that they are considerate of their feelings. A person using good manners also sets a standard for others’ behavior and encourages them to react with similar respect. No matter where you are — at home, work or with friends — practicing good manners is important.
Good manners are more than opening doors and writing thank you notes. While these things are nice, true courtesy goes deeper. Having good manners means acting in a way that is socially acceptable and respectful. Excellent manners help people to have better relationships with those they know and those they will meet.
Manners are important and they are a learned skill. Early childhood is an excellent time for parents to start teaching their kids, because even children barely able to talk can learn to say “thank you.” As kids grow, they need to be taught how to act and respond in all situations.
One important thing a parent must teach their child is to respond to those who have spoken to them. When an adult speaks to the child, he or she should not act as though no one has spoken, nor should they hide behind their mom or dad without responding.
Every child should be taught to say “Please” and “Thank you” at the appropriate times.
They should use these two phrases often — when they bump into someone, when someone gives them something, when someone compliments them or when they are asking for something.
Children should be taught to speak politely. They should keep the volume of their voices as low as possible while still allowing people to hear them. Remind them that the people around them can probably hear just fine, so they don’t need to shout at the top of their lungs. It is also important for them to be good listeners and not interrupt a person when he or she is speaking.
Youngsters should know how to greet people they meet. Sometimes just saying “Hello” or “How are you today” is enough. If the child is being introduced to someone, responding with “I am happy to meet you” is a very simple, but respectful response.
Another aspect of good manners that children should be taught is that their appearance and behavior says a lot about them. Whether going to school, the grocery store or a friend’s house, they should wear clean clothes and comb their hair. When visiting friends, they should never randomly run around other people’s homes and into rooms they were not given permission to enter. Children should wait for directions on where to go, what they are allowed to play with, and avoid running or jumping around indoors.
At the dinner table there are lots of teachable moments for parents. Children should learn not to chew with their mouth open. They should learn to say “excuse me” whenever they leave the table. Some parents even require their kids to ask permission to leave the table. Kids should be taught to ask for someone to pass a dish rather than reaching across someone else’s plate to get what they want. Then there is the age-old “don’t put your elbows on the table when you are eating” speech most kids hear at some time or other. When dining with children in a restaurant, kids should stay seated and not be running around disturbing and distracting those at other tables.
Knowing some basic rules of good manners could help alleviate some of the bullying problems in schools. Learning not to laugh at others, to think about others first and to share could eliminate many issues kids face.
Today’s society doesn’t seem to place as much importance on good manners. Morals seem to be changing and becoming more lenient, and it may seem that manners have lessened as well. Good manners never go out of style. Teaching this generation of youths how to be respectful and mannerly may take a bit of effort on the parent’s part, but the result is well worth it!
Master Gardeners
Master Gardener meetings are held on the third Thursday of each month at the Elks Lodge. They’re open to the public. For information, call the Extension Office, 623-6841, or email Allen Bates at abates@uaex.edu.
EHC
Interested in joining an existing Extension Homemaker’s Club or would you and a group of your friends like to organize a club in your community? For information, call Jessica Vincent, 623-6841.