The never-ending lawn care battle
OK, I admit it. I hate doing lawn work. It is not that I’m lazy, I just feel like I am fighting a never-ending battle with the grass, weeds and flowers. No matter how close I crop my lawn or how precise I am with the weed trimmer, the grass and weeds are always back within a week or so. As I stand on my lawn, its almost like I can hear it laughing at me.
I like statistics. I think you can learn a lot from stats. So I found a few stats dealing with my archrival, lawn work, which I thought I would share.
This information comes from a book by
Ted Steinberg entitled “American Green:
The Obsessive Quest for the Perfect
Lawn”:
• 150 hours per year are spent by the average homeowner maintaining their lawn.
• 10 times more herbicides per acre are used on lawns than on agriculture fields.
• More than $40 billion is spent on the lawns in North America each year.
• 7 million birds are killed each year by lawn-care pesticides.
• 30 percent of the water used in the Eastern United States goes toward watering lawns.
• 7,500 Americans are injured every year using lawn mowers. Some people really love doing yard work and their lawns are truly works of art. There are lawns in my neighborhood that look like the Masters Golf Tournament should be played on them. I really admire the dedication and hard work that these folks put into their lawns.
But make no mistake, my lawn will never be mistaken for a PGA putting green. My yard is not a source of embarrassment for the neighborhood, but it will not ever be a source of pride in the neighborhood either. I do yard work because I have to, not because I want to.
It is almost as if my yard has a personality of its own and is dead set on making sure I never enjoy any peace time in the battle of the mulch. I think that General Dandelion senses my weakness and has devised a dastardly plan that involves the evil forces of Emperor Crab Grass and Field Marshall Chickweed. They wage a constant battle against me and they have what seem to be unlimited reinforcements.
When I feel overwhelmed by the task ahead, I think of the famous Winston Churchill quote, “Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
So I will fight on. Although I am fighting what some would say is a losing battle. But what the constantly advancing army of my enemy doesn’t understand is that I have a secret weapon. It is comforting to know, that if I can just hold out a little longer, I will be able to unleash an instrument of destruction that can turn the fight in my favor in an instant.
I can almost say with certainty that I know ultimately General Dandelion and his forces will be beaten back, not by me, but rather by my strong allies, Old Man Winter and Jack Frost. These two old soldiers are marching our way and though it may take them a few months to muster their forces, they are coming. I look forward to seeing my old friends and enjoying a few quiet months before the next attack by the Axis of Weedville.