The effects of bullying
On an average day, 160,000 children miss school due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. That depressing statistic is based on information provided by The National Education Association. Fifteen percent of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school. Five out of 10 students have witnessed some type of bullying. Bully victims are two to nine times more likely to consider suicide than nonvictims, according to studies by Yale University.
What would adults do if we had to go to our jobs every day with the knowledge that we were going to be ridiculed, humiliated and possibly physically hurt? Would we view it as a right of passage and just part of life? Would we think we just needed to toughen up and get over it? It is not that simple.
A few years ago, when my daughter, Ally, was 12 years old we moved from Jonesboro to Greenville, Miss. Ally started her new school with great expectations and excitement. Those feelings didn’t last very long.
Within the first month, I noticed a change in my daughter. She became much more quiet and reserved, and started spending a lot more time in her room alone. I asked her what was wrong and after a great deal of talking, she finally told me that she was being bullied at school. Nothing physical, just taunts and insults. At the time I thought, well, once she gets adjusted and the kids get to know her it will stop. It didn’t.
We talked about her problems a lot; there were many tears and pleas to not go to school. I tried to tell her to not let it bother her and I encouraged her to try to be “more friendly.” I spoke with the parents of the bullies and even visited with the school officials and they assured me they were doing everything they could to control the problem. I believe they were doing their best, but it didn’t solve Ally’s issue.
I give Ally credit; she toughed out the school year. The following year, she transferred to a different school and thankfully did not have the problem with bullies anymore. But it did have an impact on her that I believe is still present today, 12 years later. She is not as friendly and open with new people as she once was. She doesn’t like change and enjoys familiar surroundings. When she talks about those times in Mississippi, it brings up bad memories for her. I hate the idea that she had to go through those things. I wish I had done more for her. I should have listened more and found a solution more quickly.
So with my younger daughter, Cadyn, I am more aware and proactive about bullying. I will do everything within my power to make sure that she doesn’t have to go through what Ally did.
As a new school year is underway, I encourage all parents to be vigilant about bullying. Help the children that are being bullied and stop the behavior of the kids that are doing the bullying. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right.”
No matter how great the schools are or how many anti-bullying policies they have in place, it is up to us as parents to protect our kids. Listen to your child and if they tell you they are being bullied, please take it seriously. Don’t make the mistake I did by thinking it is just part of growing up. A child should not have to live a nightmare.