Bed bewilderment

I recently conducted an impromptu inventory of my house. I was counting the number of beds. We have three bedrooms in our home, but one of them is called an “office” and is suitable for television watching and doll storage.

Therefore, there is no bed in that room. The other two bedrooms have one bed each. My wife and I share a bed and our 13-year-old daughter has her bed in her room. A fairly straightforward inventory so far.

Next, I began to count the number of beds for our animals. I should preface this by saying we have two cats and one small dog. I tallied a total of six animal beds. I am no math wizard, but by my calculations that comes to two beds per animal. I even recalibrated my computations three additional times, to make sure I was correct. Yes, my ciphering was correct. There were six animal beds.

Since I am not what some would term an “animal person” I was perplexed by this number. So, I began to question my wife and daughter about the need for such an abundance of animal accommodations. I was told that the number of beds was necessary because, Marley, our dog, needed an outside bed on the back porch and an inside bed in the living room. Our two cats each needed a bed up high and a bed down low in order to suit their mood at the time.

I addressed the dog situation first. I asked why Marley needed a bed outside when she had a perfectly good doghouse outside. It is one of those shaped like an igloo. It comes with bedding on the floor. I was informed that she needed one outside of the igloo so she could take in the afternoon breeze and look at the birds. I was not aware dogs knew what a breeze was, but OK.

Next, I asked what mood determined whether a cat slept high or low. I was educated that if a cat feels anxious or upset it feels safer when sleeping high. In the wild, they climb trees but domesticated animals need a little help. My wife went so far as to buy a small desk that is just the right height to allow the cats to sleep on high in the window where they can also bask in the sunshine. When cats feel safer they sleep lower as to enjoy the community more.

I found all of this very interesting and I guess to “animal people” this makes some sort of sense. I chalked it up to a learning experience and closed the books on my inventory.

All was right with the world until a couple of hours later. I was walking through the living room and noticed the sleeping arrangements of the animals. The dog was nestled on the middle of the couch underneath a blanket. One of the cats was sprawled out on the back of the couch. The other feline was napping on the ottoman. None of them were sleeping in their beds!

I pointed this obvious slumbering snafu out to my family. I was told that it was all right, “they sleep there all the time.”

I slowly blinked and attempted to understand this logic. It made my brain hurt. I just accepted it and kept moving. Like they say, let a sleeping dog lie. Anywhere it likes, apparently.