How we handle our losses matters

A few years ago, I read a book by Judith Viorst entitled “Necessary Losses.” It has since become one of my favorites. I assumed by the title that the book would be about how people cope with death. I was a little surprised, though, when I read the first line: “We begin life with loss.” This is a book about the losses we experience in life, but Viorst hardly mentions death until almost the last chapter.

The book helped me gain a perspective on life. Nearly every change we experience, even positive changes, brings with it some kind of loss. The day I was born I gained access to the outside world but lost the security of the womb. The day I said “I do” nearly 47 years ago I gained a wife but lost the freedom of being single (for me that was no great loss).

In our younger years, we’re able to cope with losses because they’re usually offset by something we’ve gained. And even when this isn’t the case, there’s still time left to regain our footing and find a new path forward in life. But things change when we get older. The losses we experience in later years — health, independence, loved ones, and so on — are not usually offset by gains. For many, those losses are followed by feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

It’s in our later years that the saying becomes ever truer: “How well we do in life depends on how well we handle our losses.” An older friend had this to say a few years back about loss that led to a significant life change, “it’s a new chapter, not the epilogue.”

If you’re having difficulty coping with losses in life and it’s causing you to become depressed and anxious, give us a call at 622-3580. Perhaps we can help.