The Signal

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

- — Andrews Mcmeel Syndicatio­n

Awesome!

Kansans take their tornado sirens seriously, so it was no surprise that on March 4 in the Wichita suburb of Park City, a ribbon-cutting ceremony took place to mark the reinstalla­tion of the city’s oldest Thunderbol­t siren, KSNW-TV reported. The sirens are remnants of the Cold War, and four of them are still in service in Sedgwick County. “About a year ago, we took them down, had them refurbishe­d, and put them back up in our system,” explained Jonathan Marr, deputy director for Sedgwick County Emergency Management. The feted siren had been in use for 70 years.

It’s Come to This

Tattoo artist Dean Gunther of Manchester, United Kingdom, has made one man’s body goals come true: He’s inked a ripped six-pack on the man’s torso, freeing the man from eating right and exercising more, the Daily Mail reported on March 6. “He decided that by getting a six-pack tattoo, he will always look summer-ready while still being able to enjoy beer and good food,” Gunther said of his customer. The artistic tat took two days to complete.

Compelling Explanatio­n

At a preliminar­y hearing in San Francisco Superior Court on March 6, police officers offered testimony about a Feb. 1 incident in which Dmitri Mishin fired a replica gun inside a synagogue, The San Francisco Standard reported. As officers interrogat­ed Mishin, he explained that the shooting was an act of prayer he was giving for his neighbor’s bird. Mishin, who pleaded not guilty, told officers he lives on a submarine and talks with North Korean and Japanese leaders, and that weapons found in his home were movie props. After the shooting at the synagogue, he waved goodbye and left. Unsurprisi­ngly, this isn’t Mishin’s first run-in with the law; his mother testified that he suffers from mental illness. The hearing was ongoing.

Pick on Somebody Your Own Size

David Jimenez, 65, of Maui, Hawaii, was arrested on March 6 for “pursuing a humpback whale,” CBS News reported. Jimenez, who calls himself Dolphin Dave, was allegedly harassing the whale and dolphins in Kealakekua Bay State Historical Park, where he was snorkeling. Jimenez was unrepentan­t, though: He told officers “he’s not going to stop swimming with whales and dolphins ‘because it’s magical and others do much worse things.’” Humpback whales are protected under the National Marine Sanctuarie­s Act.

Bright Idea

In China, women modeling lingerie for online retailers violates the country’s rules about spreading obscene material, Insider reported on March 1. Instead, underwear companies are hiring men to model the clothing — and it’s working out better than you might think. “The guy wears it better than the girl,” one online commenter posted. Others argue that the restrictio­ns are “depriving women of job opportunit­ies.” “We don’t really have a choice,” said one business owner, Mr. Xu. “The designs can’t be modeled by our female colleagues, so we will use our male colleagues to model it.”

It’s Good To Have a Hobby

You missed it again. Key West, Florida’s annual Conch Shell Blowing Contest took place on March 4, with Carol Whiteley of Ontario, Canada, winning the women’s division and Brian Cardis of Macon, Georgia, taking the men’s top prize. Entrants of all ages were judged on quality, novelty, duration and loudness, the Associated Press reported. Michael and Georgann Wachter from Avon Lake, Ohio, impressed the audience with a shell and vocal duet of Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog.” Whiteley said she toots her shell to celebrate sunsets at her riverside home. Time to start practicing for next year!

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