NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Awkward

Arnaldo Chamorro, chief of staff for Paraguay’s Agriculture Ministry, lost his position on Nov. 29 after an embarrassing episode in which he signed a “proclamation” in October with the United States of Kailasa, Fox News reported. Trouble is, the USK doesn’t exist; the fictional country is the brainchild of a fugitive guru, Nithyananda, who is wanted in India on several charges including sexual assault. Chamorro admitted during a radio interview that he was not familiar with Kailasa but said he signed the agreement because the country offered to help Paraguay with a variety of issues, including irrigation. News of the Weird has reported before (March 2023) about the posers, who have also fooled the United Nations and Newark City Hall in New Jersey, which signed a sister city agreement with the country.

Crime Report

After getting a Waffle House logo tattooed on his calf on Dec. 2 in St. Petersburg, Florida, 33-year-old Max Alexander Krejckant of Clearwater “refused all options to satisfy his debts,” police said — which amounted to $250. As a result, The Smoking Gun reported, he was arrested at the Ink Godz shop; police found only $6 and a driver’s license on his person when he was frisked (although they noted he was under the influence of something).

Krejckant bonded out and pleaded not guilty (huge Waffle House tattoo evidence notwithstanding). Wonder what the charge is for bad inking decisions?

The Golden Age of Air Travel

Yeah, yeah, another flight diverted because of unruly passengers. This story gets bonus points: On Dec. 5, just before a Breeze Airways flight took off from Orlando, headed to Providence, Rhode Island, a couple on board got into a heated argument, News4jax-tv reported. It seems the man was unhappy because he wanted to get off the plane — which wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but during the discussion, the word “bomb” came up. Passenger Rachael Corrigan said, “The people were talking about or claiming the other person had a bomb ... The people around them ... reported it to the airline, and they’re obligated to land the plane.” The pilot diverted to Jacksonville, Florida, where the man and woman were met by FBI agents and arrested. Breeze Airways canceled the flight.

Least Competent Criminal

A 62-year-old woman from Haslett, Michigan, picked a poor time to dash through the self-checkout at Walmart with $700 worth of merchandise in her cart, WJRTTV reported. On Dec. 2, as the store participated in a Shop With a Cop event in Genoa Township, a clerk notified one of about 75 police officers on hand about the shoplifter. “I do have to say it surprised me,” said Michigan State

Police Lt. Rene Gonzalez. “When you see 75 cops in the store, I mean, I don’t know if maybe they thought we were too busy.” The alleged thief was detained in the parking lot and taken to jail.

News You Can Use

In Stenlille, Denmark, a vehicle fire also damaged a nearby house on Dec. 2, Inshort reported. Police issued a warning to the community after the fire, cautioning people against using toasters under the front of cars to keep EV batteries warm. While there were no injuries, the car was heavily damaged, and the owner likely will have to pay a fine.

Wait, What?

Sergey Vladimirovich Ochigava was arraigned on Dec. 5 in Los Angeles federal court after a bizarrely uninterrupted trip from Denmark to L.A., the Associated Press reported. The Russian flew in November without a ticket, passport, visa or seat assignment. Flight crew members told investigators that he wandered around the plane and switched seats while talking with other passengers. When U.S. Customs and Border Patrol searched his belongings, they found “Russian identification cards and an Israeli identification card,” court documents outlined. Ochigava gave a variety of explanations, including that he hadn’t slept in three days and wasn’t sure how he got through security in Copenhagen. A trial is scheduled for Dec. 26.