An ode to fireworks

I love a good fireworks show. Over the past few years, I’ll admit there has been a fair share of disappointments. Wet weather and a poor choices of places to watch the fireworks shows in Rome have not worked out so well for me.

Most of the time, I climbed Clocktower Hill and found a seat on a beach towel or in the grass, and waited for the rocket’s red glare to show up in the sky. Then finally I get to watch in awe at the bombs bursting in air.

My love of fireworks – along with my absolute fear of bottle rockets – came from childhood, when every July 4th became a reason for my family and friends to become pyromaniacs armed with the finest explosives Americans can legally buy.

Usually the festivities started close to dark – a luxury for me as a kid since bedtime was typically around 8 or 9 p.m., depending on the time of year. Armed with sparklers, friends and family ran around the yard, drawing spirals of smoke in our wake as the burning sticks hissed horribly in our hands and I hummed “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

This was the scene one July 4th when, by complete accident, a bottle rocket hit me in the arm, bounced off, and exploded nearby. I was probably around 7 – no, maybe 6, possibly 8 – at the time when it happened. Ever since, I don’t trust what are essentially tiny rocket engines taped to a stick.

I recall too in those years we spent in Ringgold two particular incidents with fireworks that I will caution you not to try and recreate.

My dad one year decided that, without any other means to do so, our trampoline made a great launchpad for fireworks. There were quite a few holes in our favorite backyard toy afterward.

That same year – the year we really had a fireworks extravaganza at the Myrick house – was also the one in which one of our friends launched a cardboard space shuttle, which then landed on the neighbor’s house. It was still burning at the time if I remember correctly, and was supposed to have glided back toward earth, and exploding in the air before landing in a fantastic boom.

Obviously, cheap cardboard just can’t hold up to explosive forces.

I called and asked my mom briefly about the story. Her words were “We really went all out that year. Remember the cops driving by and we had all that trash out in the street?”

I didn’t remember. Now that I do, I sometimes wonder how we never got ticketed or arrested.

I’ll admit to sometimes going overboard when it comes to my love of fireworks.

Some years back, there were moles and gophers in my front yard I seriously considered bombing out with M-80s. Then I remembered I had no idea where the sewer lines were and saw disaster in my mind’s eye, along with an extremely upset landlady. Suffice to say, I abandoned the plan and never got to use the M-80s before moving.

It turns out, having a dog is a much better idea for keeping rodents away from your garden, even though they will sometimes eat your produce or dig random holes.

I have shot off my share of roman candles, watched those wheeled tanks shoot off down the road and explode, and even enjoyed lighting off those annoying screaming rockets that flash so nicely in the air.

Mostly, I’m disappointed when the $20 worth of fireworks I purchase run out too fast for me to enjoy the mayhem and madness of the glorious fourth.

These days, I mostly leave fireworks to the professionals. I have seen fireworks shows all over, but I have to say the best was in 2007 while I lived in Arlington, Va. The nation’s capitol launches their fireworks from the area around the reflecting pool. The rooftop of the building I worked in turned out to be the perfect location to watch. Seeing a fireworks show from 14 floors above the street is in my opinion the best way to watch colorful explosions.

So, Polk County, while I encourage you to join me in a love of fireworks this Fourth of July, I also strongly urge you to take all the necessary precautions when it comes to using your favorite festive explosives. Keep a fire extinguisher handy. Aim them upward into the air and not at people. Most importantly, light and toss or run. Don’t hold onto them.

And for goodness sake, never trust the cheap cardboard to do what it says it will. It won’t end well if you do.