Sense & Sensitivity
DEAR HARRIETTE: I absolutely never remember my in-laws’ birthdays or anniversaries. I hardly remember my own. On the other hand, they are always early sending cards and generally being perfect family members. After I realize that I missed a big day, I usually call and check in with them, but I know it must be disappointing that I never get it straight. Meanwhile, my husband doesn’t remind me, nor does he call his parents on those special days. I think they consider me to be a negative influence on him. How can I become more responsible about these things? -- Slacker, Atlanta
DEAR SLACKER: Use a calendar to note all recurring special days. If you have an electronic device on which you can record these dates, the entire better. Assign alarms to them so that the device will ring on the day in question, thereby forcing you to pay attention. Even if you didn’t remember to send a card, you can at least call on the big day.
Shy of that, you can simply show your in-laws your love in other ways. Send cards and gifts when you think of them. Call when they are on your mind to check in and chat. What people want most is to experience love.