Sense & Sen­si­tiv­ity

The Standard Journal - - Entertainment - Comics - By HAR­RI­ETTE COLE

DEAR HAR­RI­ETTE: I ab­so­lutely never re­mem­ber my in-laws’ birth­days or an­niver­saries. I hardly re­mem­ber my own. On the other hand, they are al­ways early send­ing cards and gen­er­ally be­ing per­fect fam­ily mem­bers. Af­ter I re­al­ize that I missed a big day, I usu­ally call and check in with them, but I know it must be dis­ap­point­ing that I never get it straight. Mean­while, my hus­band doesn’t re­mind me, nor does he call his par­ents on those spe­cial days. I think they con­sider me to be a neg­a­tive in­flu­ence on him. How can I be­come more re­spon­si­ble about these things? -- Slacker, At­lanta

DEAR SLACKER: Use a cal­en­dar to note all recurring spe­cial days. If you have an elec­tronic de­vice on which you can record these dates, the en­tire bet­ter. As­sign alarms to them so that the de­vice will ring on the day in ques­tion, thereby forc­ing you to pay at­ten­tion. Even if you didn’t re­mem­ber to send a card, you can at least call on the big day.

Shy of that, you can sim­ply show your in-laws your love in other ways. Send cards and gifts when you think of them. Call when they are on your mind to check in and chat. What people want most is to ex­pe­ri­ence love.

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