The Standard Journal

Sense & Sensitivit­y

- By HARRIETTE COLE

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been spending time with people who are clearly out of my league. I met one woman on the beach a few summers ago when I was visiting friends. We liked each other instantly, and she has introduced me to her friend group. I totally enjoy spending time with them, but I don’t even begin to know how to reciprocat­e. I feel weird inviting them over to my home, because it is tiny by comparison. I do have other friends over. I don’t have a second home, a boat, and a timeshare in the Caribbean or any of that stuff. I do have an interestin­g life, and these people seem to like me a lot. Should I just relax and be me? I know I should, but how do I show them how I live without turning them off? -- Feeling Less Than, Jackson, Mississipp­i

DEAR FEELING LESS THAN: Chances are great that your friends already know more about you than you think. They probably like you for who you are as a person and how comfortabl­y you fit in with them wherever you find yourselves. If you think it is possible for you to learn to enjoy the moment that you are in, it will be easier for you to find ways to invite them into your world.

If you feel comfortabl­e in your home, invite the one you like the most over for tea or drinks or dinner. Share your life with that friend and see how it goes. Honestly, though, it starts with you feeling comfortabl­e with who you are. That comfort and ease will rub off on whomever authentica­lly cares about you. Anyone else does not deserve a seat at your table.

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