Ran­dom sub­jects for a ran­dom col­umn re­turn

The Standard Journal - - COMMENTARY - By KEVIN MYRICK Ed­i­tor

It’s been a good long time since I’ve had a chance to pick up the pen and share my thoughts with the good peo­ple of Polk County. Now more than ever seemed like a good time to get back to work on writ­ing col­umns, what with a lo­cal and na­tional election loom­ing and all.

How­ever, if you ex­pected me to take a stance one way or an­other for ei­ther can­di­date in the ma­jor par­ties (and mi­nor too,) I’m go­ing to dis­ap­point you. I have no stance on Don­ald Trump or Hil­lary Clin­ton.

I sim­ply want all this non­sense to be over with, so that way we can move onto more im­por­tant work in our na­tional and state cap­i­tals.

I will add that I don’t be­lieve ei­ther can­di­date will have any po­lit­i­cal will to ac­com­plish any new leg­is­la­tion or pro­grams when it comes time to work with Congress. If ei­ther Clin­ton or Trump are elected in Novem­ber, the Amer­i­can peo­ple will get to watch an­other four years of ar­gu­ing over small is­sues be­ing blown to big pro­por­tions on 24hour ca­ble news. Noth­ing changes, right? Here’s what’s likely to be the out­come of the 2016 cam­paign: Clin­ton or Trump gets elected, ei­ther party con­tin­ues to block any progress put forth by the fu­ture pres­i­dent, and the Amer­i­can peo­ple suf­fer the con­se­quences of this lack of ac­tion.

Do­ing some­thing rea­son­able, like try­ing to work out a plan for get­ting our na­tion out of debt or tack­ling long term prob­lems like cli­mate change will con­tinue to be left for fu­ture gen­er­a­tions to han­dle.

Real ac­tion in Washington would re­quire politi­cians from both sides of the aisle to get along for enough time to vote to­gether on a bill, which if cur­rent con­di­tions con­tinue seems about as likely as the burn­ing lake of fire sud­denly freez­ing over in Satan’s do­main.

In a per­fect world, Amer­i­can vot­ers would wake up from this year’s cam­paign night­mare and de­cide last minute to for­sake both of the ma­jor par­ties can­di­dates and se­lect some­one from the quiet fringes.

For­mer New Mex­ico Gov. Gary John­son, who is the Lib­er­tar­ian Party’s pres­i­den­tial nom­i­nee, has a po­lit­i­cal track record that isn’t yield­ing con­tro­versy, and hasn’t said any­thing that would send one head scratch­ing in con­fu­sion.

This is as likely to hap­pen as a pipe dream, but its worth putting out there into the uni­verse.

Af­ter all, who would have thought this election sea­son would have seen the Repub­li­can party turn the way it did, or vot­ers in the United King­dom vot­ing on a ref­er­en­dum to leave the Euro­pean Union.

(In fair­ness, the Bri­tish al­ways kept close to the door since they re­mained on their orig­i­nal cur­reny called a pound ver­sus switch­ing to the Euro.)

I don’t be­lieve that doom and gloom will come about if ei­ther Clin­ton or Trump are elected. The world still keeps spin­ning one way or an­other.

Maybe four more years of po­lit­i­cal tur­moil in Washington is just what the na­tion needs to break free from dom­i­na­tion by a twoparty sys­tem. Af­ter all, change only comes once peo­ple reach the break­ing point with their gov­ern­ment based on United States’ own his­tory.

It will be painful, but the United States will sur­vive no mat­ter what hap­pens in this election cy­cle.

How our na­tion will look on the other side when the 2020 pres­i­den­tial election comes up is a dif­fer­ent story for a dif­fer­ent time.

*** I’m go­ing to start this story out by say­ing it’s all my fault. No one else is to blame but the man I look back in the mir­ror at ev­ery day (well, not ev­ery day. I don’t like mir­rors.)

Poor Tin­fins, who was once the Stan­dard Journal’s un­of­fi­cial mas­cot, was found dead ear­lier this year at home in Rome one morn­ing be­fore head­ing to work.

I had set out a glass to place Tin­fins in the night be­fore, ex­pect­ing be­fore bed to spend a few min­utes trans­fer­ring him out of his dirty bowl and giv­ing it a quick clean­ing and re­fill be­fore lay­ing down for the night.

How­ever, I got dis­tracted by some­thing at the time (I can’t re­mem­ber what) and the glass of wa­ter was left by Tin­fins bowl, close but not.

Ap­par­ently it was close enough for Tin­fins to try and make a des­per­ate es­cape, be­cause come morn­ing he was found in­side of a sock drawer left par­tially open, ly­ing dead from where he must have tried to jump from dirty bowl to clean glass.

Tin­fins did re­ceive a proper burial in the porce­lain sea, with the briefest of apolo­gies said as funeral rites for our dearly de­parted aquatic friend.

We’ll seek to re­place Tin­fins with a new gold­fish this week at the Polk County Fair, so long as Lady Luck is on my side.

Christ­mas is com­ing, and in that spirit I’m deep in thought once again about what to do for the hol­i­day sea­son’s com­men­tary pages.

At first I thought about sim­ply run­ning ‘A Christ­mas Carol’ and the won­der­ful draw­ings cre­ated by our own Todd Britt last year.

How­ever I feel like that would be like a re-run of a bad sit­com, so in­stead I’m go­ing in a dif­fer­ent di­rec­tion.

This year we’d like to work on get­ting our pages filled early if pos­si­ble dur­ing the hol­i­day sea­son, so we’re ask­ing lo­cal res­i­dents in­ter­ested in par­tic­i­pat­ing to send a write-up about Christ­mas.

Us­ing “What was the best present I ever got for Christ­mas,” we’d like lo­cal res­i­dents to sub­mit 300 words or less on the topic and send them to 213 Main St., Cedar­town, Ga., 30125 or e-mail them to [email protected] npco.com.

Fans of jolly ol’ Saint Nick of all ages can par­tic­i­pate, but we ask that young­sters get help from their par­ents in sub­mit­ting their sto­ries.

Sub­mis­sions are due by Fri­day, Nov. 4 for con­sid­er­a­tion in the Stan­dard Journal’s hol­i­day themes first week.

We’ll be an­nounc­ing other themes com­ing up be­fore the end of the month, so be on the look­out in the pages of the Stan­dard Journal for more.

Note: These will not be pub­lished in the same way as our an­nual Let­ters to Santa, which will be due on Wed­nes­day, Nov. 30, 2016. We’ll have de­tails about how to sub­mit those let­ters this year, which will no longer take its pre­vi­ous form.

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