Reckoning with life, love and loss
There are many different scenarios that lead me to put words to paper. More often than not, the things that occur in my life leading me to write, do so without warning. Many times, a chance encounter will be enough to fill pages with happy memories. Every now and then, just the opposite happens. And although tragedy is sometimes the catalyst for my thoughts, there is usually an ounce of positivity that can be drawn if we look hard enough.
This week I had the privilege of meeting Susan Mortimer and her daughters, Tatum and Torre for the very first time. This meeting took place because Susan lost her husband Ted to an unexpected death. The girls lost their Daddy yet did their best to comfort their mother. It’s a crying shame that our first meeting was under these circumstances.
Looking back, it was an honor to attend high school and graduate with Ted Mortimer. His talent led him to being a drummer for the Cherokee Band of Warriors. Ted didn’t just beat on the drums. He could play. Unlike some, Ted’s friends weren’t just his buddies in the band. Even as a teenager, his friendly nature made friends from every walk of life.
When Ted wasn’t playing drums in the marching band, he was drumming for a rock and roll band with a few of his high school buddies. The band was called Illusion. It consisted of Sammy Howard, Craig Hammontree, Tim Brookshire, Stanley Key, and Ted. All of these guys were talented. They weren’t just some rag tag bunch of misfits. They could play and sing. Their performances were something that made people take notice.
After graduation, life took everyone in their own directions and staying in touch became less and less. This changed with the internet and social media. Once again, we became able to stay in touch with old friends that otherwise we might never hear from again. There isn’t much positive about the internet. But, being able to see pictures of high school friends with their families is in many ways a blessing.
Ted and I were friends on social media. Very seldom did he post a picture that didn’t include Susan or his girls or both. It was apparent that this kind and gentle guy grew up to be a family man. There is a difference between a man with a family and a family man. Ted was the latter.
Ted and his family celebrated Christmas Eve like many of us. Everyone was happy and looking forward to more family on Christmas Day. For reasons only God knows, Ted would not see the sun rise on Christmas morning. He was taken from this world in the blink of an eye. No one saw it coming. It could have been any of us. It wasn’t. Heaven was ready for Ted and he answered the call that every one of us will answer one day. Maybe heaven needed a drummer. Or, maybe it just needed another good guy. Either way, Ted gained his wings.
None of this takes the pain away from Susan, Tatum, and Torre. Their demeanor was what you would expect from a grieving widow and children. There were many tears accompanying the cries of anguish. My heart broke for this sweet family. Susan lost a wonderful husband. Tatum and Torre lost a loving Daddy. I had no idea how they felt and told them so. It’s a helpless feeling we have all experienced.
Before they left, Susan said she longed for peace from God. She asked if we could pray. We stood beside Ted as we offered our prayers to God. I considered it a complete honor to be asked to participate in this sacred moment. If the circumstances were reversed, Ted would have done it for me. After the amens were said, Susan said something that will resonate with me for the rest of my life. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I don’t even know who I am without Ted.”
It was in this moment that I knew I have never known love to this degree. It was also in this moment, I knew I want too. My friend Ted left this world knowing he was loved by the deepest of loves. This kind of love was Ted’s reward for his kindness.
Ted’s passing reminded me of the brevity of life. Susan’s words reminded me love is a gift from God and should be embraced.