Mom sabotaged art school dreams
DEAR ABBY: My mother recently confessed that she sabotaged my chance to go to my dream school (with a nearly full scholarship) because she didn’t approve of my wanting to go to art school. I missed my orientation because she “got the date wrong” and then told me the school refused to reschedule. The truth is she never contacted them.
She has used that incident as “proof” that I didn’t know how to make good decisions. Every time we talked, she’d remind me that everything I was doing was a mistake, a waste of time or both. Finally, I had to cut off contact with her, but my confidence and self-worth have never fully recovered.
Now, nearly 20 years later (after a very rocky, unstable reconciliation), she has confessed she torched my dream on purpose. She said she was sorry, but immediately followed it up by saying I should be grateful to have a stable job.
She refuses to go to counseling. Must I just suck it up and let it go? DEAR COULD-BE ARTIST: You should not suck it up! You now understand that your mother isn’t someone to be trusted. Because of this, you will have to emotionally emancipate from her. Counseling can help you, and that’s what I advise.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.