Even af­ter rec­on­cil­i­a­tion, cou­ple still have prob­lems

The State - - Comics - JEANNE PHILLIPS

Dear Abby: Af­ter be­ing in a bad mar­riage for 40 years, I fi­nally left my hus­band in 2011. Af­ter two years of sep­a­ra­tion and ther­apy, we rec­on­ciled. During the time I was gone, he leaned on his long­time friends for sup­port and shared lots of per­sonal in­for­ma­tion about me, some of which was un­true.

The other evening while we were hav­ing din­ner and drinks, a mu­tual friend and

I were talk­ing about health, and I told him I was hid­ing a cer­tain hip prob­lem from my hus­band. He asked why, be­cause my hus­band had told him about it years ago. (I can’t imag­ine why.)

The rea­son I left was my hus­band’s anger at me over a hos­pi­tal emer­gency room bill. I told this friend that my hus­band’s con­cern for my health is not sin­cere be­cause he had re­cently blown up at me for men­tion­ing an up­com­ing doc­tor visit. I am on Medi­care.

Now I’m wor­ried that I may have wrecked their friend­ship by re­veal­ing how un­car­ing a hus­band he re­ally is. How did I get here? — Ques­tion­ing My­self

Dear Ques­tion­ing: How did you get here? You got here by re­mar­ry­ing a man who has such a big is­sue with spend­ing money on health. If you stay with him, it could be cat­a­strophic.

Dear Abby: I was taught

(at home and in school) to speak first when en­ter­ing a room, a build­ing, etc. How­ever, my wife’s fam­ily doesn’t prac­tice this. Re­cently, her sis­ter, upon en­ter­ing a room I was in, failed to speak first. Af­ter I said hello, she said, “I was won­der­ing when you were go­ing to say some­thing.” Are there eti­quette guide­lines that speak to this sit­u­a­tion? — En­ter­ing in the East

Dear En­ter­ing: If there is a rule about who should speak first, I con­fess I have never heard of it. I know that it is proper for a woman to ex­tend her hand (first) in a so­cial sit­u­a­tion if she wants to ob­serve the for­mal­ity, but that’s as far as it goes. When it comes to who says hello first, com­mon sense should rule.

Con­tact Dear Abby at www.dearabby .com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

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