Sibling still hounded by insecurity and jealousy from divorce
DEAR ABBY » My parents divorced when I was 4. I’ve had a problem with insecurity and jealousy for as long as I can remember. I have two older sisters who are twins and a half-brother my stepmom and dad had when I was 18.
My sisters were always the popular and favored kids because they were twins. My grandparents took them to twin contests and constantly bragged about their talents. I was born legally blind. I can see, just not well. I had learning disabilities and have always been overweight.
I was bullied at school and had few friends. My sisters were popular and were the talk of the school. I do have some close friends I’ve had since childhood, especially my best friend, who I’ve known since kindergarten. Our friendship has lasted through my best and worst times. My family considers him a part of our family.
One of my sisters is always talking to him. She even went to visit him without letting me know. I feel like whenever we are all together, I get ignored. I don’t doubt our friendship, but I can’t help but feel left out when it comes to my sister. She used to lie to me about going out to lunch and visiting him out of state.
I feel like they are keeping things from me. How do I move past my insecurities and jealousy? My sister says I’m being childish. I was always in the twins’ shadow. How do I move past that?
— Left Out in Wisconsin
DEAR LEFT OUT » I sympathize with what you went through, but you are no longer a child. It is time to quit competing with this sister. She should not have been sneaking around with your best friend, and he shouldn’t have abetted her. That said, as insecure as a person may feel, they don’t have the right to dictate to others who they may or may not see. All that does is generate resentment.
You might have less anxiety if you interact less with the twins and focus on your own separate relationships. Figure out what interests bring you pleasure and involve yourself in activities with like-minded people.
DEAR ABBY » I am approaching a major college reunion next year. Several of us former roommates are looking forward to spending the weekend together and attending some of the official reunion activities. None of the others plans to bring a spouse or partner. My partner didn’t attend our college, although he does know some of the girlfriends. He wants to attend.
How can I tell him it will be more relaxed and fun for me if I don’t have to worry about whether he’s enjoying events when he knows few people and doesn’t have the shared history the rest of the group enjoys?
— Going Solo in Mississippi
DEAR GOING SOLO » Explain it to your partner exactly as you have explained it to me that this isn’t a couples event, and none of your former roommates is bringing their partner. If he insists on coming anyway, he should not expect you to be responsible for entertaining him.
The SoCal Indie Bestseller List for the sales week ended May 8 is based on reporting from the independent booksellers of Southern California, the California Independent Booksellers Alliance and IndieBound. For an independent bookstore near you, visit IndieBound.org.
HARDCOVER FICTION
1. Sea of Tranquility: St. John Mandel
2. City on Fire: Don Winslow
3. Lessons in Chemistry: Bonnie Garmus
4. The Candy House: Jennifer Egan
5. The Paris Apartment: Lucy Foley
6. I Wore This Dress Today for You, Mom: Kim Dower
7. The Midnight Library: Matt Haig
8. Book of Night: Holly Black
9. Time Is a Mother: Ocean Vuong
10. Cloud Cuckoo Land: Anthony Doerr
Emily
HARDCOVER NONFICTION
1. Finding Me: A Memoir: Viola Davis
2. The Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor — the Truth and the Turmoil: Tina Brown
3. Crying in H Mart: A Memoir: Michelle Zauner
4. This Will Not Pass: Trump, Biden, and the
“Sea of Tranquility,” the new novel by “Station Eleven” author Emily
St. John Mandel, is the top-selling fiction release at Southern California’s independent bookstores.
Battle for America’s Future: Jonathan Martin, Alexander Burns
5. Hello, Molly!: A Memoir: Molly Shannon, Sean Wilsey
6. Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience: Brené Brown
7. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones: James Clear
8. I’ll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood: Jessi Klein
9. Playing With Myself:
Randy Rainbow
10. Anna: The Biography:
Amy Odell
MASS MARKET
1. Dune: Frank Herbert
2. Bridgerton: The Duke and I:
3. A Raisin in the Sun:
4. Bridgerton: Romancing Mister Bridgerton: Julia Quinn
5. Flowers for Algernon: Daniel Keyes
6. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Douglas Adams
7. The Hero of Ages: Brandon Sanderson
8. The Well of Ascension: Brandon Sanderson
9. Zodiac: Robert Graysmith
10. Bridgerton: The Viscount Who Loved Me: Julia Quinn
TRADE PAPERBACK FICTION
1. Book Lovers: Emily Henry
2. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: Taylor Jenkins Reid
3. Klara and the Sun: Kazuo Ishiguro
4. Oh William!: Elizabeth Strout
5. The Song of Achilles: Madeline Miller
6. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous: Ocean Vuong
7. Pachinko: Min Jin Lee
8. Circe: Madeline Miller
9. The House in the Cerulean Sea: T.J. Klune
10. It Ends with Us: Colleen Hoover