Right-wing scare tactics explained
I make a point of not watching political attack ads, unless they ambush me on television. Not only do they all sound the same, but I find the sheer banality of them to be offensive.
While the Democrats have their share of doozies, the Republicans never fail to lower the bar with their deceitful and, at times, markedly racist offerings. None of this is new.
The conservative right has always treated American voters like particularly slow children, using scare tactics which shouldn’t fool a smart fourth-grader. As a public service, I’d like to offer a guide on their methods:
Scary Music: The background soundtracks they employ are right out of a 1950s horror movie, usually in the scene where the creature from the Black Lagoon carries the unsuspecting damsel off to his watery lair. The effect is to inspire dread so that the viewer fears that Nancy Pelosi will crawl through their bedroom window at night to haul them off to her watery lair in Northern California.
Scary Voice-over: Obviously, scary music needs to be accompanied by a scary voiceover. These come in two categories: ominous and snarky.
The first mimics a Boy Scout leader telling a ghost story around a campfire. Slow, breathless and halting, it’s also the voice parents use to impress the Bogeyman on recalcitrant children. On the flip side, snark employs the vulgar, immature tone one finds among drunken frat boys, like Brett Kavanaugh and his ilk.
Once the mood of impending terror has been established, it’s time to lie about content with specially chosen scare words. In doing so, Republicans adhere to the maxim that if you tell a big lie often enough, it eventually becomes truth. It’s the oldest tactic of demagogues everywhere, but unfortunately, it seems to work.
Socialists and Socialism: These are the main scare words in the Republican vocabulary, never mind that the average right-wing voter doesn’t understand what they mean. No matter, they conjure up images of Commie tanks rumbling down Main Street USA despite the fact the Donald Trump is currently conducting bromances with Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin, the worst Communists of them all.
Those awful socialists demand terrible things, such as a living wage, decent and safe working conditions and a greater income equality to make the American Dream a reality for all Americans, not a chosen few. If we’re not careful, the United States will wind up like those Democratic Socialist Scandinavian countries that have the highest standard of living in the world. Shocking!
Nancy Pelosi: A somewhat bland and boring Democratic leader, Pelosi has become the bête noire of the political spectrum. According to the Republicans, she now has supernatural powers and is poised to inflict her hideous agenda on any Democrat seeking public office. A diabolical Machiavelli, Pelosi’s agenda includes establishing lobbying and ethics reforms, lowering the cost of health insurance prescription drugs and premiums and spending $1 trillion on infrastructure improvements. Gasp!
George Soros: This billionaire donor is the evil mastermind of the Democratic Party and in the eyes of neo-Nazis (some of whom are nice people) is a linchpin of the international Jewish conspiracy to rule the world. Soros has apparently paid all those tens of millions of demonstrators you’ve seen on television protesting in the streets. As a result, Soros is currently bankrupt and was last seen begging at the Old Blinking Light intersection north of town. Funny, though, most of my friends and I participated in those demonstrations and never received a cent.
Immigrants: like picking lettuce, cleaning toilets and changing diapers for $5 an hour.
They can’t take over the good jobs because the Republican Party’s main donors have already shipped them overseas to avoid paying American taxes. As far as rape and murder, the GOP has no problem running child molesters and would-be rapists for public office, and they are fine with schoolchildren being massacred in their classrooms by patriotic, all-American killers.
So there you have it. Upon every election, Republicans vote their fears. Progressives vote their dreams. Maybe someday, Americans will smarten up and vote their brains.