Last Christmas on the farm

But now my uncle and my “new” aunt, Bea, are getting older and have decided that going back and forth to California is just too much. They are going to spend the winter at the farm this year. It’s kind of a lonely place now—with no more cows, or chickens, or even a farm dog. The land is rented out and the house sits on the remaining five acres, a white house with dark red trim and cold winds whistling through the windows.

Andy and Bea have a deposit down on a senior living apartment in town, but Andy’s not sure he’s quite ready for that yet.

“That’s for old people!” Andy protested.

“You’re almost 87!” my uncle Les, his younger brother, reminded him (as if he needed reminding).

But Andy’s still not sure. So, he and Bea will be alone in the farmhouse this winter and that’s how the idea came about to have one more Christmas at the farm.

Back when my grandparents were still alive, the farm was a lively place at Christmas. A shrubby Christmas tree was stuffed into the corner of the living room, and even though everyone only got one present, there were still enough packages to bury the poor tree. All the remaining aunts and uncles (now in their eighties), and all the cousins (in their fifties and sixties now), remember those Christmases. And we thought we should do it one more time.

“Bea just needs to show up with a bottle of wine!” my mother clarified. “We’ll bring all the food.”

Bea seemed to think this sounded just fine. Andy said he’d get a Christmas tree. Everyone said they’d like to come. And that was when the trouble started.

Because the farmhouse hadn’t grown an inch in all the years the family had been growing. The memories of the farmhouse were much larger than the house itself and the small house could not possibly hold the nearly 70 people who said they would love to come to dinner, to sit in the living room and see Andy’s Christmas tree.

I was sad when Christmas at the farm was canceled. There will be coffee and cookies instead. People will come and chat and then go wherever they need to for Christmas dinner. And maybe it’s just as well.

Because my memories of the farmhouse at Christmas will never disappear. The farmhouse will always smell of potato sausage and the piano will always be a little out of tune and there will be steamed up windows and cats in the barn, and a few eggs to pick for grandma in a bucket lined with straw. These memories will remain as long as I am here to remember.

This Christmas, I’ll have a cookie (and probably a glass of wine with Bea). I’ll be surrounded by the happy ghosts of all the Christmases I remember. And maybe that’s the way it should be.

Till next time,

Carrie

Carrie Classon’s memoir, “Blue Yarn,” will be released in April 2019. Learn more at CarrieClasson.com.