Violence in teen dating relationships
As any parent or guardian knows, the time when teenagers become interested in dating can be fraught with complications. It comes when the adolescent is stretching his or her wings, feeling out what it is like to live in the adult world, testing the limits of personal freedom – and exploring romantic relationships.
Parents and guardians don’t want to alienate their children during this transitional period of their lives and support the excitement and fun while also being sure their teens recognize the dangers that can arise when they are out on a date. It’s a delicate balance for all. And it’s critical to establish trust through open, honest, interactive and safe communications because the dangers of sexual and dating violence and their psychological damage can have long-lasting effects.
Here’s a startling statistic: The U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that one in three adolescents have experienced some form of violence in their dating relationships – far more than other types of youth violence. Dating violence includes physical assault, sexual assault, verbal and psychological abuse and stalking. These can take place in person, through spreading rumors and, more and more these days, via the internet. The latter allows the perpetrator to convince, coerce or threaten a victim without having to look them in the eyes.
According to CDC surveys, teen dating violence is a definite public health threat. In the past year, about 11 percent of teens reported sexual assault by a dating partner, and almost 10 percent of U.S. high school students reported they were purposefully physically hurt by a dating partner. Approximately 20 percent of teens know someone who has been victimized by dating violence.
Some things to do to help prevent teen dating violence:
• Be a role model. Treat your children and others with respect and kindness;
• Be clear that any form of aggression or violence – verbal, emotional, physical or sexual – is never acceptable, from your teen or their date;
• Let your teens know it is safe to talk to you about any concerns;
• Watch for signs a teen may be a victim of an abusive relationship: changes in behavior; falling grades; avoiding friends, family and usual activities; making excuses for their partner’s behavior; and unexplained injuries;
• Watch for signs a teen may be abusive: violent temper; putting down their date; acting extremely jealous; preventing their partner from hanging out with friends and family; or frequently checking up to demand information about where their partner is and with whom.
Community Against Violence (CAV) wants the community to also know that victims of dating violence in middle and high school are at a higher risk of being adult victims of intimate partner sexual violence, domestic violence and stalking. Victims of teen dating violence are also more likely to experience depression or anxiety; use tobacco, drugs, and alcohol; and think about suicide.
As a community, we can reduce teen dating violence by, first, acknowledging that it really does happen in our communities; learning how to recognize the signs and symptoms; understanding the impacts of teen dating violence; encouraging people to learn about healthy relationships and self-empowerment; and advocating for people to seek support.
If you want more information about talking to your teen, go to LoveIsRespect.org. Path to Wellness New Mexico also has a 24-hour crisis and access hotline at (855) 662-7474. Or call CAV for local support and resources.
Malinda Williams is the executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV) which offers FREE confidential support and assistance for child and adult survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, and child/ elder abuse; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education groups for people using power and control in their relationships; counseling; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk or get information on services, call CAV’s 24-hour hotline at 575-758-9888 or visit TaosCAV.org.