Graduation: A Rite of Passage
The Taos News has committed to implement a weekly column to help educate our community about emotional healing through grief. People may write questions to Golden Willow Retreat and they will be answered privately to you and possibly as a future article for others. Please list a first name that grants permission for printing. Dear Dr. Ted:
I am graduating this year and am amazed by the amount of excitement and energy being put into graduation. I always knew I would make it through the academic requirements to be able to graduate. It was not easy for me, but I am here ready to get my diploma. Am I missing something about graduation and why it seems so important to so many people?
Thanks, Ben
Dear Ben,
I am really impressed with your insight and introspective process about graduation. Noticing others and then processing them on how they align or not align with your beliefs, thoughts, values, or other ways of being, is really incredible and mindful. I still remember graduating from Taos High School, way back in 1980, and thinking it was kind of silly as I had felt required to go to school and there was an expectation to graduate. At that time in my life, I did not know how profound graduation was and that it was truly a rite of passage honoring an academic achievement but also every experience that had brought me to that point in my life.
Academically, you reaching this point in your life means you were able to show up, complete requirements, navigate social and bureaucratic systems, persevere environmental challenges and barriers, and be persistent while persevering through the requirements needed to say you are a graduate. My hope is you also learned many aspects of life, increased your knowledge base and had fun along the way!
A rite of passage is usually thought of as ceremony/event in which people take time to witness and acknowledge an important moment in your life, one that honors everything that has brought you to a new beginning in your life. It is a way to acknowledge what is known and the foundation you have built in order to step into a new aspect of your life, and the unknown aspect of your next life journey.
You happen to be of the class of 2021, the class that has had to endure enormous chaos, radical change with COVID-19, isolation, confusion and social and political upheaval during your time in high school. In the midst of all of these strange paradigms, you were able to complete the academic requirements as the world plundered through enormous losses and trauma.
A lot of people have dismissed the importance of taking time to witness and honor someone’s path in order to be standing in a doorway of their future. By taking the time to deeply acknowledge the survivorship of your life and every experience from birth until now, and have it witnessed, is important for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual baseline, as well as those who participated in your life to this point.
Taking the time through ceremony, helps solidify your foundation. It is a punctuation mark stating this sentence is complete, and the next life sentence and paragraph is beginning. It is also a time of recognizing those who have been on the path with you such as family, friends, classmates, teachers, community and other people who are part of your experiences that make you the person you are today. Many of these people you may never see again.
In a time of high levels of isolation, animosity, fear and struggles, taking a moment to acknowledge your life while acknowledging those around you will build a stronghold for your next step.
Congratulations, stay conscious, remember the preciousness of life, and please keep your mindful introspection alive and well. Congratulations to everybody who has accomplished the right for graduation this year. May you continue to stay safe and conscious and until next week, take care.
Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing and recovery from any type of loss. Direct any questions to Dr. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, Founder of Golden Willow Retreat GWR@ newmex.com