The Boy Who Never Was
Diogenes lived at a time when oracles ruled the world
The Yeti explained to the Boy Who Never was that Plato was one of the most noted Athenian philosophers of his day, but Diogenes, who promoted his own cynical brand of philosophy, teased Plato mercilessly, claiming that he was incorrect on many things.
When Plato, for example, defined Man as “a featherless biped,” Diogenes responded by plucking the feathers off a rooster and proclaiming, “Behold Plato’s Man.” Plato had to clarify his definition by adding: “A featherless biped with broad, flat nails,” chiding cynical philosophy as “intelligence in a barrel.”
Many people argued Diogenes’ brand of philosophy, despite the fact that just as many enjoyed it. Diogenes said: “It is the privilege of the gods to want for, and of godlike men to want little.” This flew in the face of wealthy Greek patricians. Although some smiled at Diogenes’s unruly and unconventional behavior, he was directed to be who he was by the oracles themselves.
“Master,” the Boy Was Never Was interrupted the Yeti, “what is an oracle?”
“In the ancient world,” began the Yeti, “oracles were priestessprophetesses who would sit on tripods in sacred places like Delphi. As sulfuric fumes would waft up from the volcanic crevasses beneath them, they would inhale them and that would cause them to go into trances, by which they would prophesize in mysterious — and, most of the time, misunderstood — words. Many kings, leaders and rulers would seek them out and follow their advice.
“A young Diogenes visited one of these oracles at Delphi to listen to her. As he approached Delphi, he saw some words inscribed right at the entrance of the temple. They said: ‘Know thyself.’ The oracle sitting there fell into a deep, bicameral mindset and said to him: ‘You must go and deface your father’s currency.’ His father worked with money — perhaps as a banker or as a minter. As a young man, Diogenes had begun working with his father, but before long, he had a lifechanging brush with the law: Following her advice, Diogenes began smashing coins in order to obliterate the images of many emperors on them. He soon had to leave town — perhaps because he was exiled, or because he fled before he would be tried for his crimes.”
“It is fascinating to me that so many of the ancient world’s decisions were made, based on the interpretation of weird words uttered by these semi-demented priestesses,” the Boy Who Never Was muttered. “I wonder if Diogenes’ unconventional way of thinking may have been brought about by sitting among the sulfuric fumes with the Oracle?” he questioned.
“Haven’t you ever wondered, my boy, if all of those aromatic fumes coming from incense burners in church had the same effect on the priests during Holy Mass? Maybe they open their minds to oracular thinking to be able to understand the hidden meanings of the Bible,” the Yeti said.
“Maybe that’s where Saint Francis fell short of Diogenes a couple of thousand years later,” the Boy Who Never Was observed. “When he heard a voice from the cross of San Damiano, he heard it say: ‘Rebuild my church.’ He rebuilt the consecrated ruins of the Church of San Damiano. What the message from the cross really meant was: ‘Give the church back to the poor,’ but it took him a little while to understand it. In similar fashion, when the Oracle told Diogenes ‘to deface the currency,’ she meant for him to give meaning to the poor instead of heaping it on images to the rich. Sometimes, the purveyors of divine messages are misinterpreted. That is why it is dangerous to interpret sacred writing literally. The trap into which humans fall lies in their inability to understand the ways of the Divine and to take the easy or literal way out instead. My message for you is this: Look for the Divine within yourself first, and then you’ll be able to see it in others.”